A World That's Not Her Own ((Closed))

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

It was hard to believe. She coould pass as normal if she didn't have the glazed over look in her eyes. Those eyes looked like they could see into and through everything. Pamela had to loook away from Dixie, she felt like Dixie could peer into her very soul. She looked at Dr. Fried, who was so kindly trying to explain what he was going to be doing to help Dixie, but Pam didn't hear a word he was saying. Silently, she wondered if Derreck understood or even heard anything the Doctor was saying.

Muggles, they have no idea what they are doing. They are just a waste of space... Derreck wasn't paying attention. This Doctor was a quack in his mind and no one had any idea how to help his daughter. They couldn't even figure out what went wrong with her. She used to be normal. She used to be the perfect Slytherin daughter until something happened and they weren't doing anything to figure out what exactly it was. Heads were going to roll if he didn't get some answers soon. So he stood there, behind his soon to be ex-wife, looking menacing but not making any attempt to take some matters into his own hands.

Typical. they looked away when they caught her looking at them. They were afraid of what they would see. Afraid that the possibility of their precious daughter never being normal to their strandards, ever again. It was sickening. They were going to disown her because she was no longer the daughter that they could benefit from. Dixie was now just a nameless child that should no longer exist. If they didn't want her to exist, they should just go ahead and kill her. Put her out of her misery. Then they would look like murderers. It was a double-ended sword. They either had an invalid daughter, or were seen as murderers. Tough choice.

He wanted to slap them. Matthew Fried greatly disliked parents of patients who only cared about their reputations. He was trying all he could to find out what exactly happened to Dixie Anne Holden. They needn't to rush him. Matt looked at his clipboard with all of her information written neatly on it; Name- Dixie Anne Holden, Age- 17, Blood- Type B, Height- 5'6", Weight- 111 pounds, Past illnesses- none, Abuse- possibly, Diagnoises- schizophrenia. Matt glanced up and couldn't help but think, "No wonder this girl's insane." Instead of saying that aloud, he smiled wryly and spoke again; "I know you two are both very anxious to have your daughter retrun to you, but right now all I can tell you is we're doing the most we can."

Derreck looked up with astonishment, "Bollocks! You aren't doing anything but sitting around and watching her! She needs medication! She needs to be sane again!" His anger was apparent. Pam looked over her shoulder at him, a glare written in her eyes. It was almost deadly. She then turned back to the doctor and sighed rather agrivated; "I understand. Please, call if anything changes?" Dr. Fried nodded and turned away as Pam grabbed Derreck's arm harshly- pulling him out of the hospital. He pulled his arm back, and almost went to hit Pam but she held her hands up, blocking his blow.

"Grow up, Derreck. Your daughter needs you right now. And it isn't to beat up the only parent she has left." With that, Pam crossed the street and hailed a taxi cab. Dixie watched all this from her window. Typical.

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

SESSION ONE

[/center][/u]

Doctors didn't know anything. Dixie made this observation about two days after being in this place they called help. That was a lie. A total lie. During the sessions she was forced to have with Dr. Matt Fried, she was as sane as she could possibly be - just to end them sooner than they really were supposed to. At night, she was someone else. Locked in the land of Kurr - Dixie was forced to do many things she didn't want to. She had no control over her body, and at times found herself to be wandering out of her room and down the corridors when she wasn't supposed to be out. As far as they were concerned, Dixie was near sanity. The only problem being she tended to walk away from someone in the middle of the conversation and sit alone by herself, muttering quietly in some language no one understood. This only made Dixie more aware of how much she was being observed.

Today wasn't any different than any of the other days. Dixie was currently sitting in a chair in an empty room. Across from her was Dr. Fried with his clipboard and video camera behind him. He was looking at her, waiting for her answer to the question he had just asked. And her response was taking longer than usual for one simple reason - she was actually thinking about the answer. Dr. Fried had just asked her a rather in depth question and she wanted to answer with a just as deep answer, "What is being sane to you, Dixie?" For most of her childhood, Dixie had thought that being sane meant having all the toys in the world and being loved and knowing that mudbloods were the lowest form of species. But now? Now she wasn't so sure. Her world was upside down and she didn't know if she was sane or insane. To her father she was insane, definitely. And she supposed she was insane to her mother as well, or else they wouldn't have placed her in here if she was perfectly sane.

"Well, Doctor, there is no sane or insane. We are all different. We're all crazy, loony, nuts, in some way - don't you think? So who has the right to say what is insane and what is sane?" Dixie looked at him with eyes that were almost ghastly. She was being totally serious about this. She wasn't giving him the false answers she normally would. Then again, this question actually had her thinking. What right did anyone have to diagnose her as schizophrenic, if they themselves weren't sane any either? Dixie bit her bottom lip, which was healing a little bit at a time, and looked at the doctor again; "You aren't any saner than the rest of us, Doc. As much as you think you are, you really aren't. No right to say that you are either. You have nightmares, and think the same things we do. The only difference between us, is that you can control it better than we can." Dixie let her eyes linger on his for a bit, before looking off at the wall behind him. She was gone. That was the end of the session.

[Dixie Holden-Greene]

SESSION TWO

The rain fell steadily down outside, the drops sliding down the window pane, and pooling together at the bottom underneath the window. Dixie leaned her forehead against the glass as she watched this weather suddenly transform from sunny and bright to rainy and dull. It was like magic. She grinned at herself, and looked away as Dr. Fried entered the room. Silently, she wondered if he had gotten any sleep - Matt looked to be 31 when in reality he wasn't much older than Dixie. She supposed it was the job he had decided to make his career. The poor man. She felt almost guilty for being called insane. Dixie chewed her lip. Guilt was never something she was good at. Never something she was good at controlling - ever. She let it eat at her until there was nothing left to eat at. Her mother told her time and time again that it was unhealthy, but what was Dixie supposed to do?

She watched him, her gaze steady, as he set up the video camera. He did it with skill and ease- though his hands were shaking horribly. He probably didn't get any sleep at all. Dixie sat down in her chair and watched as he finished setting up the camera. He then sat down across from her and got his papers in order. She couldn't keep shut anymore; "Sleep well, Doctor?" She asked in an almost cocky tone of voice. Dr. Fried looked up with a glimmer of surprise in his voice, and chuckled lightly. He was a humourous man, which amused Dixie. Not many people could be humourous in this line of work. They saw too many people who were clinically insane, who were trying to kill themselves everyday. She was surprised and amused to see that he could maintain a personality as well as do a good job with this area of expertise. She wondered if he was married, and if he was, she wondered how his wife put up with him. Poor thing.

He chuckled again, "I didn't get any sleep at all. Lucinda in ward D was thrashing all night. She sent home three nurses with broken arms and a broken nose. She is a petite little thing, but with such a force that could knock a gorilla out." His eyes lit up and Dixie found herself grinning again. Lucinda was a beast. But she was one of the girls that Dixie could relate to - in many many ways. Dr. Fried opened his book which had his notes in it and began to write things down. He then asked her; "Did you have a nice childhood, Dixie?" She bit her lip. Wanting to lie. But feeling she couldn't. Telling the truth was just as contagious as lying, and Dixie felt obliged to tell him the truth every now and then. She sighed and tilted her head; "If I did, Doctor, would I be here?" Dr. Fried blinked, with a smile tugging at his lips, and wrote something down. Score.