A Patch Of Green In The White Ocean ((Jordan))

[Jake Rainyar]

Jake stepped out of the doors of Hogwarts. He needed some fresh air. He was beginning to get rather dismayed at all the problems happening. It seemed like so much had happened this year and that he had tried to rationalize all of them. However, these things could not be rationalized and they couldn't be fixed. It seemed that he was going to have to live with them. He didn't want to. He knew he was acting childish, but he didn't want to believe that his grandmother was sick. No one could help her. Her kidney's were failing and she telling anyone. He had been amazed that she had let Janet take her to the doctors when she found out. Janet was the one that knew about it. She had promised not to tell anyone, but she had let it slip to Mum and Mum had told him the other day. He didn't know why Janet hadn't told him. She usually told him everything, but not this time. I guess she felt it was something that was more important for him not to know than for him to know.

Jake sighed as he bit back fear and sorrow. His grandmother had always played a prevalent role in his life, ever since his grandfather died when he was only in his first year. His grandfather had taught him a lot, but his grandmother became his confidant when he couldn't talk to his parents. His grandmother was a witch. His mother's mother. She knew about some of the things he was going through. She had been in Hufflepuff, the only other family member who had been placed in the house. Everyone else had been in Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, there was even a few in Slytherin, but no one but Grams had been in Hufflepuff. He looked down at the ground of the steps. He didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't even know if he could live without her. She was so special to him. There were those special hugs. The ones that you see as your disappearing through the fire place. She would just fold her arms over her chest, like the sign for love in sign language, and you just knew that it meant I love you and miss you and take care. Or the many little things she'd give you for desert before the long train ride to Hogwarts. She must have remembered those train rides, because she was sure willing to dish out the sweets.

Jake sighed again at the memory. He just needed to stop thinking about it. It wasn't like she was dead yet. He had this summer to hang out with her and talk with her and just be completely chill with it. However, something else made him feel upset. He had no idea when he'd see her again. If he got accepted into the training program for Aurors it would be unlikely for him to spend much time with her. The pain of the thought made him walk down the steps and head out toward the lake. It was at this time surrounded by the white ocean of snow that he noticed a small patch of green grass hidden away behind a tree. Jake smiled at the patch. He took out his wand and quickly said a spell to dry the patch of green. He then plopped down against the tree and watched the sunset across the lake. It was a beautiful sight. The thoughts of his grandmother slowly faded as the sky turned a brilliant pink.

[Jordan Elizabeth Cortes]

Her fingertips were stained. Various colours were at the tips and then some more dotted her slightly tanned hands. Jordan didn't really care, it was paint, it showed who she was and painting was what she loved to do. When she painted she wasn't Jordan Cortes, Hufflepuff Prefect, she was...Jordan Cortes - Jose's daughter. La hija de Jose. He was a great artist. Her mother was a great dancer. So Jordan inherited both talents. She was a great artist and even better dancer.

The difference between Jose's form of painting and her's...she wasn't strict. She didn't use just a paintbrush. No. That was too...closed. Too structured. What Jordan did, was put a blank canvas in the air (by means of magic of course), dipped her hands in the paint and....well...painted. The paint felt wonderful between her fingers, and she felt so free painting like that. So that was exactly what she was doing at the moment. Her canvas was against an invisible wall, and she was running her fingers over it. Next to her was a magically wired boombox, and some muggle eighties song was playing from it.

Jordan brushed some of her brown hair that fallen from the twist she had up, from her eyes. She tilted her head back, moving the brim of her black fedora backward a little. The sun hit her eyes, but not enough to block her sight. She could see the painting perfectly. It was nearly finished. Jordan dipped her right thumb into the blue paint and then smeared the colour across the canvas, creating a line of blue across the otherwise bright colours. She then smeared the rest of the blue on her thumb, on her painted jeans.

She always wore the same outfit when she was painting. A stained pair of faded blue jeans, black doc martens, and a white button up shirt with stains on it as well. Plus her fedora, which belonged to her father. Jordan took out her wand as she closed the lids, and then waved it at the canvas. Wrong timing. A huge gust of wind came by and blew the canvas toward the lake. Jordan put her right hand on top of her fedora and watched her painting roll up like it was supposed to, but fly in the wrong direction. She ran after it - her hand still clamped down on her hat.

Jordan chased after it, but it wasn't getting any closer. Suddenly it turned a sharp left, and it made it's way toward a tree and a boy she recognized as Jake Rainyar. Jordan stopped, cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled; "Heads up!" Right before the painting crashed into the boys head. Jordan winced, before making her way over and retrieving her painting; "Sorry about that.."

[Jake Rainyar]

As Jake sat under the tree watching the sunset he was quickly brought back to reality. A voice cried out and then Jake felt it. He blinked his eyes and sat up as he put a hand to his forehead. He didn't really understand what had just happened. He shook his head quickly and looked down to find a rolled up painting. It had just smacked him in the head. He looked over as a voice reached his ears. It was the same one that had tried to say something earlier. He recognized the face of the girl, who was covered in paint. "Jordan right? Is this yours?" Jake asked as he held up the painting to her. "Don't worry about it. It didn't really hurt," Jake said addressing her apology which he meant to do earlier, but forgot to.

Jake caught a glimpse of the painting and smiled. "Can I see the rest of it? The bit I see looks pretty good, but how can just a bit of art be appreciated without the full view?" Jake asked. He liked art. Since his mum was a novelist she enjoyed all aspects of the liberal arts. Just like Janet, his sister, who wanted to be an actress in the muggle world. She was always willing to go with him to the Louvre whenever they traveled. Jake's attention fell back on the painting.

[Jordan Elizabeth Cortes]

Jordan smiled as she took the painting; "Yeah, well, paper cuts are nasty. Though I'm not sure you can get paper cuts from canvas. But wet canvas can hurt." She shook her head, realizing she was rambling. She was always rambling these days. She blamed it completely on Dillion. When Jake asked to see the rest of the painting, Jordan didn't hesitate. She knew she was a good artist, and she loved to hear other people's opinions about her art...it's what made her so easy to get along with. In her third year she had painted a landscape for Meredith, Kris Graas' guardian.

She unrolled the canvas and sat down next to Jake, so she could smooth it out the damp grass. When she sat straight, the corners of the canvas were being held down by invisible weights. Jordan smiled and looked at Jake; "Know what it is?" She asked, hoping he would at least guess. A lot of her art wasn't clear, a lot of it had a meaning that was muddled and filmy, you never quite knew what she was getting at. She could paint something that looked like a dove that represented peace - but just a little dot of red, or a streak of red on the dove would represent war.

[Jake Rainyar]

Jake was slightly taken back by the question. He turned back to the canvas and studied it hard. He liked art, but he wasn't much good at figuring out what something was or what it stood for. He turned his head back and forth like he had seen other people do at the museums. However, no matter how much he wanted to impress the girl he couldn't figure out what it was. He looked at the girl and smiled. He wondered if he could get a sense of her personality and see if he could come up with something representational of something she would probably paint or draw. He studied her silently and then looked back down at the canvas hoping that the light bulb would suddenly go off...but it didn't. He frowned slightly at his inability to figure it out.

Jake turned to Jordan. He could either guess and be completely wrong or he could try to cover it by asking her what she felt it represented, but either way it would prove he didn't have any idea what it was. Instead he looked back down at the painting. It was beautiful. The colors were so bright. He furrowed his brow and then sighed. "I'm not really sure. Maybe a sunset?" Jake asked. He really didn't know, but that's one of the only things he could think of that had such bright colors. They were so beautiful to watch, hence why he was out there at that moment. He looked over at Jordan to see if he was right or wrong.

((Sorry it took so long. Been busy.))

[Jordan Elizabeth Cortes]

Jordan grinned widely; "Yes! You're correct! But it's so much more than a sunset, it's...like..." She bit her bottom lip in thought on how to explain her painting to him. When she finally thought of something, Jordan snapped her fingers and stood up looking at the sky which had been used as her model. She closed her eyes and basked in the fading sunlight with a smile of contentment on her face. Without opening her eyes she continued; "The beauty of the sunset should cast aside all pain and hurt and everything like that, right? But it doesn't. Hence the blue across the middle. The blue represents everything bad. Horrible. Disgraceful to the standards of good society." She opened her eyes and turned to face Jake with a small shrug.

"I mean, everything beautiful is tainted with something just as ugly and hideous isn't it? The sunset is tainted with everything that we try to hide from. War, heartbreak, cancer, murder, rape, abuse, and most of all death...because we all know eventually we are going to die. It's inevitable. We can't run from it or hide from it. My brother used to tell me that everything beautiful may be tainted by something ugly, but you must think of it from the ugly's point of view. At least it had something beautiful to look to." Jordan fixed her fedora and smiled brightly at Jake before sitting down next to him, looking at the sky again.

"You know, some cultures view death as the next step of life. But how could that be when death is the opposite of life? Maybe they meant in the way of art. In art...they're the same thing. Part of the same genetics, the same colours. There is no black nor white. Death and life go hand in hand. God giveth and God taketh away." Jordan looked at Jake and tilted her head to the side, "I don't mean to sound so morbid...but, death and life give meaning to art...it's what artists thrive on. Especially ones who have a message to give."

((Don't worry about it. I got to it as well, possibly not as soon as I would have liked. But as soon as I could.))

[Jake Rainyar]

Jake smiled as Jordan told him he was right. He thought there was something familiar about the coloring and shapes. Jake watched in silence as Jordan stood up and after a few seconds began talking again. The words hit him with great pain and truth. Everything she said was right about death and not living forever. Perhaps he had already known that, but it had been hiding so deep within him that he had feared it. He had feared the results of death. Jake nodded more to himself than to Jordan as she sat back down. Everything was tainted with darkness. A person who can be viewed as the most innocent and giving person in the world have their moments when they must choose to continue on in their innocence or to give in to evil desire. Everyone faces those moments, it's just not everyone takes the same path.

Jake looked back over at Jordan as she continued on about death in different cultures and about how art was was made death and life the same. He nodded slowly as he took in every word she was saying. Perhaps she was right about this as well. Perhaps art was the only way for death and life to be the same. Jake looked back down at the painting. He could see it more clearly now. The blue came out so well as if it was showing him that his life was tainted with sorrow, but if he looked at the rest of his life he would see the beauty of it. Jake sighed.

"Don't worry about the whole morbid thing. It doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that everyone has that darkness they have to content with. That sorrow that plagues ones soul. I don't want to deal with sorrow or hatred in my life. I want things to be happy and joyful. However, I know that within every great thing there is a bit of darkness and only you can choose to accept that darkness or choose to fight against it. Inevitably you will self destruct if you choose to fight it, but also giving in to it means you keep that darkness with you for all of your life. I guess someday I'll self destruct, because I choose not to accept that darkness. Does that make sense?" Jake asked turning to look at Jordan. He had kind of just been rambling on with his own thoughts, but it was always good to know if someone understood where he was going with those thoughts or whether they just thought he was nuts. In this case it was probably a bit of both.

[Jordan Elizabeth Cortes]

"Yeah, it makes perfect sense." She told him with a calm smile as she looked back to the sky. The sun was dipping low, making it's fingers golden and lovely. Jordan sighed and lowered her head onto her knee, "And that's just the thing. You can't bask in the sorrow of your life. It comes and it goes. Most people don't understand that in a month, the memory will still be there but the pain will lessen." She grinned and lifted her head to fiddle with her fedora. When she plopped it back on her head she was speaking again; "When my mum died she took a part of me with her. A big part of me. See, I'm not just an artist I'm also a dancer. I dance latin ballroom and my mum was a very good latin ballroom dancer. I learned everything from her. When she passed away she took my joy of that, and it wasn't until this past year that I began to take it up again. The memory hurt too much, but not as much as her death."

She bit her bottom lip and tilted her head at Jake, "If you ask me, people thrive too much in the pain because they want to feel sorry for themselves. It was so much easier back in the days where innocence wasn't tainted, because they gave you a month to mourn. But people here...now? They go on and mourn and mourn until they feel they can't mourn anymore. And they die inside, sometimes outside as well. They just don't care anymore." Jordan broke her gaze away from Jake, hoping this conversation wasn't too deep. She usually spoke light and airy topics, and she was usually hyper because she was usually with Dillion. But the rare moments when they weren't together, she was always thinking and contemplating. Lord knows she couldn't do that with Dillion, she couldn't keep her mind on one thought for one moment.

"You're right. They self-destruct, but only those who don't allow others to help them through the hard times." Jordan stated in a whisper, "I know. I've been there. Obviously, I didn't complete self destruct, but I got pretty close to it." She smiled at him a moment and then her smile saddened as if she was suddenly reminded of the pain she went through when her mother died. But the light and happy smile reappeared on her face in moments; "Darkness isn't something you can hide from, you know. It's something you have to face to get rid of. Kind of like, face your fears. Understand?"

[Jake Rainyar]

Jake opened his mouth to apologize to Jordan when she mentioned her mum's death, but he found he had no voice. He closed it slowly and watched her. She seemed to be a stronger because of it. He had lost his grandfather a couple years back, but he had never been that close to him really. He was, but he wasn't. Not like the bond between a mother and her child. Jake sighed at the thought. Jordan had been through a lot it seemed. But she was beginning to dance again that had to be something. It had to have been hard for her and yet she still decided to take it back up. Why do something like that? If the memory hurt too much why continue on? Jake's thoughts were never spoken out loud, but it seemed that Jordan had heard them anyway, because she answered them with her next few thoughts.

Jake snorted in response to Jordan's words. It was true, people had turned mourning around completely. It wasn't to mourn their loved one that passed, but more of the mourning of the time they lost with them. Two totally different objectives. Jake knew that, because he had watched his sister do that. She had a different way of mourning, but it was like Jordan said. Every time someone died that was close to her she wouldn't mourn like others. She would keep herself busy and she wouldn't worry about it. It was killing her soul, but she didn't seem to care. She just wanted people to leave her alone and let her mourn in her own way. It was hard watching his once smiling sister become the rigid rock of someone who couldn't trust anyone. She always had her defenses up to block people out. She always did that, even to him. He shook his head of the thoughts as Jordan began to speak again.

"Yeah, I understand, I just don't like it you know. My life as been pretty easy. My mum's a nonfiction writer for muggles. My dad works for the ministry in muggle affairs, I think. I've never had to deal with somethings, especially in any kind of financial way. A few years back my grandfather died. It was hard because I remember being around him every summer and most of the weekends before I came to Hogwarts. When he passed I cried, but I didn't really mourn him. I think I knew him well enough to love him unconditionally, but I never really knew how to handle death. Now it's my grandmother. She's dying. I'm a lot closer to her now since my grandfather's death. I don't know how to handle it. I guess I just never imagined that she would die, you know what I mean? Like I know death is inevitable and that all things die, but it's a hard concept to grasp when you don't deal with it too often. I don't know I'm just rambling now," Jake sighed as he looked out as the last light of the day disappeared behind the horizon, leaving only a sliver of light to show their surroundings.