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Post by Valerie Rice on Dec 6, 2004 1:30:25 GMT
Valerie sat on a soft burgundy couch in front of the fireplace in the student lounge. She'd been there for a good hour now. Her last year was not going according to plan so far. After meeting with Professor Sprout the previous year again, her choices for a career had been reduced from when she's spoken to her in her 5th year. With the way she continued to struggle this year, she was sure her upcoming appointment with Professor Sprout would provide her confirmation that she would have no rewarding career options left. Of course Valerie knew that most careers would simply be out of her league anyway but she was hoping a few lower class jobs would be available.
The last Quidditch match was another loss for Hufflepuff and that one hurt real bad as Valerie failed to get the snitch and her team had been pounded on showing her lack of leadership skill. To the Quidditch scouts in attendance, they certainly had written her name off as a potential seeker. The sad fact now was that Valerie had about half a year left at Hogwarts before she'd have to find a job and the only one's she managed to secure so far was a job as a waitress in Diagon Alley, a babysitting job at a babysitting center in Diagon Alley, and a clerk job at the book store in Hogsmeade.
If none of those appealed to her she'd have to return to the muggle world and try and find something and then try and explain why she hadn't even graduated from any school they'd heard of. Private school her mother told people, she went to a private school but Valerie didn't really like lying. Of course she could always go and work for her father at one of his sporting good shops, she was assured of that but she wanted to find her own job, not simply get one handed to her because of who she was. Sighing heavily, Valerie stared blankly into the fireplace while she thought about her future.
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Post by daph on Dec 6, 2004 2:07:55 GMT
Despite the fact that the Student Lounge had only been open for a short period of time, it was quickly becoming one of her favorite spots. With the temperatures outside dropping, she was always eager to curl up in front of a roaring fire with a good book. This time it was one of Herbology—which was the subject she struggled with the most. It seemed to her that there were far too many plants in the world, and trying to memorize all of them was impossible. While normally it was easy for her to get lost in a book, reading about the many potions that some foreign shrub was not the most intriguing topic to her, and she found herself easily distracted by an incoming student; it was Valerie. She didn’t know Valerie very well—but she had helped her with her Transfiguration homework a few times. It struck her then that they had yet to become friends beyond a piece of parchment. They were perhaps superficially friends—they smiled slightly at one another, but never had they grown close enough to seek out one another. And now, as she looked out at Valerie and recognized a distant look of hopelessness in the seventh-years eyes, she wondered why. Had it not been evident that they had such similarities?
She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, trying to convince herself that she should go over. She knew what was truly holding her back though. She hated to speak. She despised the sound of her own voice more than anything else in all of the wizarding world. Though Valerie had heard the awkwardness of her voice, it had always been in a more educational setting, and for some reason, she was convinced that her voice flowed easier then.
She finally convinced herself that she needed to do this by using the ‘its your last year’ pep talk. She told herself that she had only a few more months at Hogwarts, and this was the time to try and make stronger friendships instead of still hiding away in corners like she did when she was eleven. She moved slowly and carefully across the room, and sat down almost as cautiously on the couch a few feet away from the other girl. She started to open her mouth, but no words would come, so instead, she tired to smile, though she was sure that it came out as forced instead of genuine. After a moment, she looked down, taking a breath and trying to convince herself again that she could do this, and then, when her mouth opened again, words did come. They were painfully slow, in a quiet uneven tone, but at least they came.
“Hello Valerie. We haven’t talked in a while, so I though I would come over and say hi.”
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Post by Valerie Rice on Dec 7, 2004 3:07:40 GMT
Valerie was deep in her own set of thoughts when she felt the couch cushions moving as someone sat down next to her. Still her eyes remained focused on the fireplace, more specifically a log in the fire. Though there was nothing really interesting about this log, she had been lost in thoughts and her eyes had fallen to it. Now though she tried to stir she found her eyes firmly locked on the log as if it was some sort of hypnotic spell. Slowly she became more aware of her surroundings once more, the others talking and laughing about her, the rolling of a dice at a nearby game table, yet her eyes were locked.
It would take a great deal of effort to pull her gaze, and that was simply not something Valerie felt like mustering at this time so it was quite fortunate that the girl who had just sat next to her drew her attention by speaking.
Valerie’s head quickly snapped up and she looked over to her left to see who it was that had sat down and was now talking to her. To her great surprise it was Daphne. Fumbling around for her book bag, Valerie tried to gather her things. Had she forgotten a tutoring session? She didn’t think she had any this week of course she had taken on a lot more tutoring last year and this year it had gotten insane. She simply went from one Ravenclaw to another for each different subject and sometimes multiple girls for the same subject. This was her curse, she’d been stricken her entire life with being dumb and the whole stigma that came with it, the taunts, jeers and jokes from many other students. This was probably the only reason why Valerie was happy this was her final year, get out of school and get away from situations where her academics could put her in the direct line of abuse. Pushing a strand of blonde hair back behind her ear, Valerie sheepishly smiled at Daphne. “I’m sorry… I .. uhmm.. I must have forgotten our session… what subject are we doing tonight.. I think I have most my books here..”<br>
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Post by daph on Dec 7, 2004 21:48:17 GMT
For a moment her eyes grew wide, the expression that washed over her face would have been followed by the world ‘oh’ had she been anyone else. She was panicked, had she forgotten a tutoring session? She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to scan her brain in attempt to recall her study sessions. She had seen a Hufflepuff boy that morning at eight, and then there was a fellow Ravenclaw after lunch, but she was sure that she had not planned on doing any tutoring for the rest of the day. After a moment her eyes opened, and she tried to smile at Valerie again. She was sure that she had not forgotten.
“No, we don’t have a session”<br>
Hearing her own voice fill the air between them, she cringed slightly. After hearing Valerie speak, the tone of her own voice seem to stand out even more. Her honey eyes shifted with self doubt and she turned her head quickly towards the fire. There was something hypnotizing about the flickering flames of a fire—it made her feel as if she could stare into them forever, allowing her to forget the complications and awkward silences in the world around her.
Despite the fact she was trying to loose herself in the glowing embers, she was far too aware of the girl sitting. She found herself once again deep in inner turmoil, which was ironic considering she was the one who had come over to Valerie in the first place. She sat completely still for a few moments that seemed to extend for an eternity, before finally convincing herself again that she truly wanted to get to know Valerie better.
“I am here socially”
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Post by Valerie Rice on Dec 10, 2004 2:40:21 GMT
Valerie was a bit taken back when Daphne stated she in fact didn't have a tutoring session. Yet for some reason Daphne was sitting next to her, a few moments of uncomfortable silence fell as Valerie sat there looking at Daphne then around the room to see if there was some sort of prank about to befall her. As the silence continued, Valerie shifted her weight and tucked her legs under her and watched Daphne as she stared into the fireplace. Soon Valerie's eyes followed and again watched the fireplace, as the two girls sat on the sofa.
Silence is golden, some don't believe it but those were the socially gifted, the ones who could come up with conversations in a second and keep them going. Valerie wasn't one of them, in fact it required a great deal of effort on her part to come up with something to say and then those conversations died quickly. To her, this silence wasn't golden, it was dreadful. Each passing second was agony as she was reminded with every tick of the clock how shy she was and how lacking her social skills were.
Finally Daphne broke the silence and stated that she was here not for tutoring, or business, but on a social call. "Oh.." Valerie said as she nervously brushed her blonde hair from her face and tucked it again behind her ear. "umm" Valerie was quite at a loss for words as she ran through her thoughts on what to say to Daphne, she had never before spoken to her socially, it was always about school work. "So.. it's too bad it's snowing.... I .. um, I was going to go to Hogsmeade today with some friends..." Valerie lied, flat out lied. Bold faced liar, she in fact didn't have plans to go to Hogsmeade, but when someone who was obviously as popular as Daphne sat with you, you had to come off as having a real life too. Someone with Valerie's poor academic standing needed to at least have some sort of reputation for having a decent social life to make up for lack of friends. That of course was wrong as well, and Valerie immediately caught herself on that. Everyone knew she didn't have many friends. "Umm, well I wanted to go at least..." Valerie said as she looked down at the laces on her bag, she was now very fascinated by them and began to study them, hoping against hope that Daphne would just ignore her comments entirely.
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Post by daph on Dec 10, 2004 23:36:55 GMT
Her honey eyes rested softly on Valerie as she waited for a reply. While she had struggled with her confidence when it came to speaking, she had managed to master some art of social behavior when it came to the unspoken. With a considerable amount of effort, she managed to sit and stand tall, a considerable effort for a girl who stood only a few inches over five feet, but it gave the illusion of confidence she lacked. She was also unafraid of eye contact, or at least with some convincing, and she no longer cared about what the other students thought of her—about everything expect the ever awkward way her voice was permanently destine to.
“Hogsmead…” she mouthed, rather than said out loud. It was a Hogsmead weekend wasn’t it. After many years, the small town no longer held the exhilarating experience it once did. The only place she thought was truly worth the trip was the nearly forgotten second hand bookshop. It seemed that in that small dusty store there was always and mind altering literary experience just waiting for her to discover. Of course, between her books for classes, she only had time to have one book for fun, which meant she had more limited need to go to the wizarding town when the chance was given.
After another long pause her mouth opened again, this time words followed, slowly and carefully, as if spoken by someone just learning a new language.
“I had not planned on going”<br>
She had found a book their last weekend, and she had no real friends to plan a trip with. She knew that she gave the image of being popular. Except for the times she left to her own studies, she was almost always accompanied by another student who she was helping with their studies, even if they were not together on a social level, she at least looked like she was.
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Post by Valerie Rice on Dec 20, 2004 0:43:22 GMT
"Oh.." Valerie muttered when Daphne informed her that she wouldn't be going on the trip today to Hogsmeade. Silence once more fell on them as Valerie tried her hardest to find something to say, she had lots to say in her head but most of it was the embarrassing stuff, the things that she thought when she was lost in her own little world but others would certainly find odd.
As the fire crackled, Valerie listened to various students around the room talking about this and that trying to find some sort of conversation starter and as luck would have it, little Kimberly Sullivan barged into the lounge yelling about a game to which she then proceeded to stumble and fall down, only to get up and talk some more. "She's funny..." Valerie said as she smiled and watched Kim dance around the table setting up her game and talking at a feverishly high pace.
For what seemed like minutes, Valerie watched Kim playing her little game and observing the other students and listening to their conversations. By the doorway on the bulletin board was pinned a bright yellow poster advertising for the winter holiday trip. Valerie hadn't really thought about going since she didn't have any real friends going and would much rather go home and spend time in her own room by herself. "Hey... are you going on that trip?" She asked Daphne as she crossed her hands on her lap and once more looked into the fireplace.
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