Talking things over (Kiyla)

[Ivy Tunstall]

((This is carried on from the 'Sitting by the Lake' post.))

Ivy fairly suddenly became self-concious, thinking about how weird it was that she had sunk down on the floor, her head resting on the bed and that she was sobbing.

She wondered where Kiyla was now. What did Kiyla think of her? Ivy's original anger had evaporated. She still felt reproachful towards Kiyla, but her main emotion now was misery.

With this, she stood up, slowly. She didn't know how long she'd been here, but it felt like an age. She gathered up some clean clothes, and made to walk out of the room. Her hair was still absolutely saturated, but at least it had stopped dripping so much now. Ivy shivered.

She caught sight of herself in the mirror on Amdrilion's bedside table. She gazed at herself for a moment. It was a wretched sight. Her cheeks were tear-stained and red, and her hair hung in straggly, knotted strands.
"You idiot," she rebuked herself.

Ivy opened the door of the dormitory gingerly. She didn't want to meet anyone in this state. Quietly, she made her way to the bathroom, running herself a lovely hot bath. She put some of the bubble bath her father had given her in. Sometimes it was better not to use magical products, and she certainly needed some comfort right now. She tested the water with her toe, before sinking into the luxurious warmth.

About forty minutes later, she emerged, smelling sweet and feeling much better. She walked quickly down the corridor to her dormitory, easing the door open quietly so as not to disturb anyone.

Ivy caught her breath. Kiyla was sitting on her bed.
'What should I say?' Ivy wondered. She walked into the room quietly. Kiyla had shown no sign that she'd noticed her yet. Ivy wondered if she had angered Kiyla and if she was going to ignore her.

"Hi," said Ivy quietly, giving Kiyla a cautious smile.

[KiylaJohnson]

Kiyla stood at the door and listened to Ivy cry for a minute of two then decided it was best to leave her alone. Kiyla sulked away from the door to the dormitory and when to take a quick bath. After 10 minutes Kiyla got out of the bathtub and didn't feel any better at all. She did a quick spell to straighten her hair then she sulked into the common room and talked with Nokomis for a while then decided that she best go talk to Ivy.

Kiyla put her ear to the door first to see if Ivy was still crying. There was silence. Kiyla cautiously opened the door and saw no one was there. Kiyla walked over to Ivy's bed and sat on it waiting for Ivy.

"What did i do now? Lost yourself another friend have you?" Kiyla was asking herself when she heard someone say "hi."

Kiyla looked up to see Ivy standing there giving her what looked like a forced smile. Kiyla gave Ivy a half smile and said, "I'm sorry." She could feel the tears coming in the back of her eyes. It seemed like they were always there just waiting for something to happen so she would cry.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Ivy saw that Kiyla was still looking angry with her. 'Great', she thought, 'just what I needed.' Another voice told her, 'well, it's your fault anyway'. Kiyla looked as though she was about to cry. 'Oh no!,' Ivy thought - she was awful at cheering people up.
"I'm sorry." Kiyla said simply. Why was she saying that? Yes, Ivy had been angry and upset before, but... well... that hadn't exactly been entirely Kiyla's fault.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Ivy replied, sitting down next to Kiyla tentatively and looking straight into Kiyla's eyes to show that she meant it.

[KiylaJohnson]

Kiyla looked up at Ivy.

"I made you mad and I'm sorry." She was so close to crying now but she choked them back.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Ivy met Kiyla's eyes, her own filled with horror at what she had done. Kiyla had misunderstood the main direction of her anger.

"No," Ivy insisted, "you didn't make me mad. I'm just... not very good with water."

Kiyla wouldn't understand her phobia of water, Ivy was sure of that. She was obviously a very good swimmer herself. How could Ivy convince Kiyla what had happened when she was embarassed at her own weakness? She didn't exactly feel very open to telling all at this moment in time.

[KiylaJohnson]

Kiyla looked at Ivy skepically.

"Look don't lie to me. I'm sorry." She said again a few tears escaping. She didn't want Ivy to lie about being mad at her. It made her feel even worse.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Ivy felt anger well up inside her again. Why didn't Kiyla believe her? 'Whoa, whoa' she thought, forcing the anger down again. It seemed to be so close to the surface today.

"Kiyla, look at me," Ivy said. She looked into Kiyla's eyes to show there was not a flicker of doubt about what she was saying. "I told you, it wasn't really you made me mad. I'm not lying. Please don't cry. Don't say I've made you cry."

Inside Ivy's mind was racing frantically.

[KiylaJohnson]

Kiyla couldn't take it anymore. "Look you don't have to lie. I'm so sorry okay!" She hated that her best friend was made at her and then she lied to her about being mad.

"You don't have to lie to me just cuz my dad's a.... well you kno..." Kiyla said getting frustrated as she got up angry about to walk out of the dorm.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Ivy sprang up in dismay as Kiyla made to walk out of the dormitory. However could she convince Kiyla she was telling the * truth, for goodness sake?

Ivy strode across the room and stopped in the entrance to the dormitory, shutting the door with an audible 'snap'.

"Just cos your dad's a what?" Ivy asked. An imbecile? Well, yes, he is, but then I'm not lying to you in the first place and whatever he says isn't going to change anything. Just how much I hate him for what he does to you. She didn't voice any of these thoughts. She hardly thought they were helpful.

[KiylaJohnson]

"Okay yeah my dad is a jerk and all those other things and you don't have to lie to me to try andmake me feel better okay? All you're doing is making me feel worse! I've been lied to way to much in my life and I don't need my best friend to lie to me as well. So correct me if I'm wrong okay? Maybe I'm a little disoriented because of all this so i just really want the truth okay?" Kiyla said as she sat back down and started to cry.

Maybe Ivy wasn't lying for all she knew but still if she was she didn't want her to lie. Maybe Kiyla was just taking out all her frustrations out of Ivy. The thought of that made Kiyla cry even more.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Ivy just stared at Kiyla, stunned, as she shot out accusation after accusation. Why did she not believe her? Anyone who knew Ivy well knew she would not lie more than one time.

'Well maybe Kiyla doesn't know you as well as you think', a nasty voice commented to Ivy. Was that true? Ivy wasn't sure. Certainly there seemed to be evidence for it.

Ivy's thoughts made her back off. She had tried to persuade Kiyla, but if Kiyla didn't believe her there was little she could do.

"I've already told you the truth," Ivy said quietly, before turning her back on Kiyla and walking out of the dormitory, closing the door behind her.

[KiylaJohnson]

Kiyla watched stunned as Ivy left the room. She knew Ivy wasn't lying but Kiyla felt so alone, so she thought she had to be lying. No one would want her as a daughter much less a friend.

"Why do I do this to myself?" Kiyla yelled out to no one in particular. She felt so bad. Now Ivy really was mad at her and Kiyla didn't want it. She knew Ivy didn't need Kiyla to act like a brat. It wasn't Kiyla vs the world anymore, at least that's what Kiyla hoped, so why did she push one of her only friends away? Kiyla got up and walked to the door. She took a deep breathe then opened it.

"Ivy?" She whispered uncertainly with her voice cracking a little. "I'm sorry." Kiyla felt her knees go as she fell on her knees in the doorway crying, sobbing into her hands. "I'm sorry." She said again and again.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Ivy walked slowly away from the door, breathing deeply. She was hurt that her friend didn't believe her. She just didn't want to go back there right now. And be told she was a liar again. She couldn't think of anything else to say.

Ivy heard Kiyla start to yell. She put her hands over her ears. She didn't want to know. She walked on, not entirely sure where she was going. Maybe she ought to go and see Nokomis? Nokomis might know what to do. Ivy knew that Nokomis knew Kiyla quite well.

Behind her, the door opened. Ivy walked more swiftly. When Ivy was out of earshot, she took her hands off her ears and let out a sigh. She started to descend to the common room.

As soon as Ivy heard the bustle of the common room, she knew she couldn't go any further. A 5th year was laughing, as if mocking her. It just didn't fit with her mood. Ivy knew she had to go back to talk to Kiyla. Even if she didn't particularly want to.

Ivy approached the dormitory. Kiyla was still there, standing now, staring through a bare patch of wall. She had tear-stains on her cheeks.

'Well, what can I say?' thought Ivy. She came to a halt in front of Kiyla, waiting, waiting. This time she wouldn't speak first. Look what had happened last time. Ivy was still waiting. She was waiting for Kiyla's eyes to focus on her. For Kiyla to tell her she was a liar.

[KiylaJohnson]

Kiyla had gotten up form the doorway and now was standing and staring at the wall. For what reason? She didn't know. "You are so stupid. A stupid little brat." Kiyla whispered to herself. She looked around the room to see no one so she stared at the wall some more. "Maybe if I stare hard enough it'll disappear. Maybe I'll disappear." Kiyla thought to herself when she felt a presence.

"Go away." She mumbled not looking away from the wall. She figured it was probably some first year waiting to laugh at her. They didn't move.

"Look I said go aw.." Kiyla started to say angrily when she looked to see it was Ivy.

"Oh." Kiyla said surprised. She knew Ivy would come back so she didn't know why she was so surprised yet she was.

"Look Ivy I'm sorry. I can be such a brat. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I know you aren't a liar and would never lie to me. I know I deserve it if you don't ever want to speak to me again. I guess i better write Mum saying i will be coming home after all. But please Ivy don't hate me forever okay? You're the best friend a girl can have and i don't know what i would do without you. I... I" Kiyla was crying now. She just let the sentence hang. She didn't know what else to say to Ivy. She felt so guilty.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Kiyla said, "Go away," without even looking at her. Ivy felt really sad. It looked like she'd just lost a friend over a stupid misunderstanding.

Emotion welled up inside her. 'I'm not going to let a misunderstanding get the better of me,' Ivy thought. She continued to stand where she was. 'Kiyla can't ignore me for ever, surely,' she reasoned.

Slowly Kiyla's eyes focused on Ivy in recognition. Ivy listened as Kiyla began to talk. She din't agree with what she was saying at all.

"No," Ivy said, going up to Kiyla and hugging her. "It was just a misunderstanding, that's all. You're not in the best of states at the moment and I should have understood that. I'm sorry."

Ivy didn't know what Kiyla was thinking at this moment, but she certainly looked sorry. There wasn't really much for her to be sorry for. She'd hurt Ivy a little by not believing her but it could hardly compare with the amount she must be hurting at this moment in time, Ivy thought.

[KiylaJohnson]

Kiyla cried hard as Ivy hugged her. She wasn't crying because she was sad, not anymore. She was crying because she was happy. Happy that Ivy was her friend.

"A misunderstanding? Well what didn't i understand?" Kiyla said moving away from Ivy looking confused.

Kiyla wasn't sure what Ivy meant but she did really want to know. She cared alot about her friend. HEr best friend.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Kiyla was still crying! Ivy felt awful. How could she ever help to make her best friend happy? 'You can't be much of a good friend if you're best friend's always crying," a niggling worry told her.

Kiyla was asking about what misunderstanding there had been. What should she say to that? Ivy wondered. She didn't know exactly where the misunderstanding had been, but it was clear that there was a lack of communication between them.

After a while thinking, she said, "Well, you didn't get the main reason why I was unhappy, and I didn't get why you refused to believe me. I mean... we didn't exactly tell each other so we weren't making it very easy for each other to understand the other person."

Ivy hoped Kiyla would know what she meant. She didn't want yet another misunderstanding. She thought it was more than she could cope with.

[KiylaJohnson]

Kiyla looked at Ivy trying to understand.

"Well why were you upset?" Kiyla had stopped crying now. She didn't want to make Ivy feel worse. Kiyla went to sit down on her bed.

[Ivy Tunstall]

Ivy followed Kiyla, sitting down on her bed. She'd already mentioned it but she wasn't surprised Kiyla hadn't taken it in. And she wasn't going to reproach Kiyla now. Not now she'd stopped crying.

"Well, I have a really bad phobia of water," Ivy admitted awkwardly. She paused, wondering whether to go on. In the end she decided to go for it. "And I didn't know what you were doing, so I thought I'd better go get you when you went in the lake just so suddenly, you know?" She wondered if Kiyla knew what she meant, but she wasn't saying anything, just sitting there and looking serious, so Ivy went on.
"So I mean I got out allright, but I wasn't very happy and you just asked me a question and I got all angry. I don't know why I was upset. It was stupid. I should have thought of you first but I guess I'm not all myself at the moment."

Ivy wondered what Kiyla's feelings towards her were at this moment in time. She would be right to be angry. Ivy just hoped she wasn't. When she thought over what she'd done now, it all seemed so stupid. A stupid mistake that was all her fault.

[KiylaJohnson]

Kiyla wanted to burst out laughing. But instead she smiled at Ivy.

"I get it now. There's nothing to be ashamed about and it's not all your fault. I should not have jumped to
conclusions." Kiyla looked at Ivy feeling much better.

"Are we okay now?"