An Interesting Proposition ((Professor Hardy))

[Professor Julius Foxcroft]

"What are so many people doing out here? It's a blasted Wednesday, not the weekend, do they have nothing more profitable to do then crowd around here and talk so loudly about everything and nothing?" thought the disgruntled Julius as he tightened his cloak around him, as though that might protect him from the few people around him. He hated having to come to Hogsmeade instead of going to Diagon Alley; he hadn’t been here in such a long time. Come to think of it he hadn’t been anywhere in a long time, but still… he didn’t like this at all. It was back to the Ministry for him whether or not he really wanted to or not, he just couldn’t ignore his duty any longer. What had happened at the end of the year and at Diagon had just made that clearer for him. As much as he would miss Hogwarts, he couldn’t live this way anymore, constantly worrying that everybody was helping except him. His eyes fell on a fellow colleague as he moved down the aisle to pick up the book he was here for, and though there was hardly anyone in this world that Julius wanted to talk to, she in particular was one of those few people. She had just been appointed instead of Julius and because he had loved his job and his subject for once he decided to act on impulse and approach her.

Acting purely on his curiosity Julius walked up to Professor Hardy and addressed her in his usual gruff manner. "Dreadful morning isn't it?" he said by way of greeting. It was a little funny that he should say that as Julius hadn't even noticed whether it was a nice morning or not, having given little thought to anything other than his plans, or rather plan, for the day.

[Professor Amaryllis Hardy]

Amaryllis was more than a little distracted as she searched through the bookshelves in the make-shift bookstore in Hogsmeade for the number of books she had written on her list as good things for the Duelling and Muggle Studies departments to own. They weren't as well stocked, the temporary places in Hogsmeade, as their counterparts in Diagon Alley had been, but at least it was possible to buy the necessary things. What they didn't have in Hogsmeade, she could always order. And the Death Eaters hadn't succeeded in crippling the economy by attacking Diagon Alley, although while she didn't exactly feel intimidated, she did feel less safe now. Not so much worrying about her own safety, but about that of her family. She didn't know what she would do if she lost her family. She couldn't imagine life without it.

That was why she was distracted now. She was worrying about Robert. She never used to do all this worrying. He was quite capable of looking after himself now, of course he was. He was nineteen, getting towards twenty. But she seemed to be having more and more trouble adjusting to the advancing age of everyone at the moment. Maybe it was the fact she was away from home for much of the year now. Life had been so comfortable for such a long time... just her and Robert, and she'd been happy with him growing up. The changes happened over a longer period of time, and she was there all the time. And then everything changed once her husband had finally come back from St. Mungos. She'd had to rethink the way she lived her life. She'd never have rejected him of course... it was just that so many years had passed, and so much had changed and somehow it didn't feel right for him to be there any more. It didn't feel the same, and she'd found it hard to adjust to it. Robert had grown up, so she found herself a post at Hogwarts. Now she was the Muggle Studies Professor too. She was pleased about that. She would feel like she really had a right to be there.

Amaryllis looked to her side as she detected the tones of the previous Muggle Studies teacher, Julius Foxcroft. He seemed rather unsatisfied, and had just started a conversation by commenting it was a dreadful morning. She looked to the window of the shop, and hardly thought the weather could qualify as 'dreadful'. Maybe not the sunniest of days, but at least it wasn't too hot.
"I suppose that depends on your perspective," she replied, wondering as she did so exactly what it was that had prompted Julius to talk to her, since from her experience he was hardly the greatest conversationalist. "The weather's not bad, but I suppose no morning is a good morning for some people nowadays. Thankfully I don't think I'm one of those, and I sincerely hope I never become one."

[Professor Julius Foxcroft]

Julius felt that he had been put in his place and there was a look in Amaryllis' eyes rather reminiscent of one of his grandmother's who had had a knack of doing just that whenever she knew Julius needed it. He frowned sullenly for a moment before replying, as he had been expecting a much more different reply. He told himself that he really shouldn’t have made any assumptions anyway, for he had isolated himself so much from the other staff at Hogwarts that he hardly knew any of them, and since Amaryllis was not as old as Flitwick or McGonagall she hadn’t been a teacher in his days. In fact, he believed she had come to Hogwarts only a year or two before he had, and that like him teaching hadn’t been her first choice for a career.

He looked out of the window and immediately realised that his comment about the weather had been quite incorrect. "Can't blame them can you? It's really hard to keep your head up with everything going to pieces around you – I suppose one must blame something or get out that anger in some way," he said musingly, almost talking to himself and forgetting Amaryllis was still there. A ray of light had found its way to his hand and warmed it up and something stirred in his head, like so many things had been stirring in the past few days – perspective. Could one really choose the way one looked at life? He didn’t want to think about that right now though, it would probably mean he had to change one more thing about himself and he just wasn't ready to do that when he had just made a major decision. "Getting textbooks for Muggle Studies?" he asked, unaware of the lull in their conversation when he'd been lost in his thoughts in the past few minutes.

[Professor Amaryllis Hardy]

Amaryllis ran her finger down the list of books she'd picked out for her reading materials and, having finally found the corresponding book on the shelf, pulled the heavy tome out. She held it in one hand while watching Julius, and nodded slowly as he picked up on the comment she'd made and gave his own view on it. There were a lot of people who had the right to be in that position right now. Just because of a few people who felt they had the right to kill, maim and torture just because of their blood, the worlds of some people were understandably coming tumbling down about their ears. Amaryllis gave a small smile, more to herself than anything else, which had some bitterness and sadness in it, before replying to what Julius had said.
"You can't blame them, no. There's too many people working to ruin the lives of others. It's hard to cope if you don't realise that there's always someone who needs you, even if you haven't a clue about it." Amaryllis sighed slightly, watching Julius who didn't say anything immediately, and glancing down at the book she had in her hand.

Amaryllis looked up again as Julius asked whether she was getting Muggle Studies textbooks, and she wondered whether that was the reason he had come to talk to her: to check up on whether she was going to teach his subject well. She felt defensive all of a sudden, but did her best to shake it away. She didn't want to appear completely incompetent. "I'm getting a few textbooks for use in class to replace some of the ones which are really battered," she said, "and a few copies of some new NEWTs ones. Reading materials as well. The Ministry are trying to interfere with the syllabus. I'd prefer to leave it as it is, run it through for a year or two to make sure I know everything about it so I can be sure if I want to change anything; know the strengths and weaknesses. But no, the Ministry think that there being a new teacher on the block is just the right time to try to exert their influence. I know the current one may be failing to show some people the culture of Muggle society, but then not everyone takes it and I'd hope that people who do take Muggle Studies go away from it not just with a greater understanding and interest but also knowing Muggles aren't a joke as some people seem to think. There isn't any evidence to prove a new syllabus will make any improvements anyway of course; the one I'm teaching now has been used for quite some years has had many of the faults ironed out of it. It may need a little updating but I'm not sure changing it entirely is the route to go down as the Education department think-tanks seem to view it. I'm keeping it as it is for the moment, but I've got some extra reading to understand the finer points of the syllabus they want me to teach, as well as ones to just keep up to date." Amaryllis' brow furrowed as she realised she'd said rather a larger proportion of her thoughts than she'd originally intended to, and she looked away out of the window for a moment to gather her thoughts before looking back to Julius. He hadn't started teaching Muggle Studies long ago, and she pondered the fact he might have had the same problem when he started teaching. While again she worried he might think she was unsuitable for his old post, especially after having revealed how difficult the Department of Education was being with her, she realised that he might have some useful advice.

[Professor Julius Foxcroft]

Someone who needs you… wasn't that why he was doing all what he was doing? Before discussing that though he wasn't going to waste the chance to rant about the Ministry

"Doddering old fools they are if you ask me. Always think they know what we need to teach and what we aren't doing correctly and none of them actually takes the time to review the syllabuses Hogwarts has placed carefully and with the students in mind. Dumbledore had suggested we take the students on a trip to several muggle places in London last year – no harm in that, I'm sure you'll agree, but the Ministry put its foot down, and gave us a long rigmarole about security and a group of schoolchildren not being responsible enough to keep undercover. Children I ask you – it was supposed to be for the sixth and seventh years, I'd designed a sort of project for them to do, I mean it's not like it's a subject that one can just learn out of books, and there are so many of them who have had so very little experience with the muggle world," he said heatedly.

Not to be distracted form the subject of the Ministry and rather keen to talk about the subject Julius talked about what was bothering him most staring at the title of some books without really taking them in. "I can’t say I'm too happy about going back there. I'd thought it was a page of my life I'd turned once and for all after – after I decided Hogwarts was the place was me," he said. He still couldn’t tell the lie convincingly enough. Julius hadn’t decided he wanted to teach instead of work as an Obliviator – he'd just wanted to push away anything that reminded him of Beth and how he'd met her and the life they'd planned together. It was his way of dealing with his tragedy, though he hadn’t yet learned the most important lesson about dealing with a tragedy, and that was that he had to accept it before moving on. "Amaryllis," he said, a questioning glance in his eyes, and her first name feeling a bit awkward as he said it as he'd referred to many of the other professors as "Professor" and not with their first names.

"What'd you do before you came to Hogwarts? I mean why'd you consider teaching as a career?" Julius wasn't sure why he wanted to know, but he knew he was going to miss this a lot, and he just wanted to talk about it so much yet not bring himself into it. From what he could see right now she shared some of the passion Julius had for teaching, that exciting thrill of knowing students were listening and hanging onto your every word, that what you were saying could mean so much to them, that you had to give everything you could and put your life into it so you felt satisfied at the end of the day when one of your students came up and thanked you or you saw a look of respect in their eyes.

[Professor Amaryllis Hardy]

Amaryllis watched the expression on Julius' face carefully as he was complaining about the Ministry. She wasn't quite sure what his purpose in talking to her was, but she didn't think it was just for a friendly chat. She hadn't been at Hogwarts long before he arrived, but he'd never been someone who had stood out as easy to talk to. She'd never felt much inclination to approach him in the staff room whenever he did venture there (for he seemed rather a recluse) since he always seemed to have found something to occupy him, as well as a little irritable if anyone approached him. Hence she didn't know him very well, but now she eyed him neutrally, wondering secretly whether what he had to say ever had anything positive in it. No - that was a little unfair. He seemed enthused about his teaching, even if in a grumpy manner. Then why was he going elsewhere? From what she knew he wasn't going to be teaching; in fact she had an inkling he might be returning to the Ministry. Truth be told, she hadn't made much note of why her predecessor was leaving, even if she had been informed. Amaryllis pondered for a moment, her gaze transfixed on Julius. She hoped he wasn't going to be working - or already working - for the Department of Education. Then again, wherever he intended to work next, she didn't think that was the reason for his having approached her. She decided to allow herself to relax, and added the heavy book she'd been holding for a while now to the growing pile. She'd have to review it to make sure she really needed all these books. But it was a good idea to have a proper selection of the best and most relevant texts she could have to choose from.

In the meantime Julius appeared to have seized upon her lack of words as a chance to further slate the Ministry. She had a niggling feeling he was concealing some of his true reasoning, but let that drop away, instead exploiting the small silence left to say something. She couldn't just make him talk on and on at her without replying whatsoever - however preoccupied she might be with her own thoughts and the impression of the former Muggle Studies teacher which was quickly forming in her mind. "Be they children or not, most Hogwarts pupils can probably stay undercover better than some Ministry officials I've seen in my time," she commented. "Though there are certain 6th and 7th years I would rather not take with me on a field trip to London." Amaryllis pondered over a couple in her mind's eye, although not voicing her thoughts in that direction any further. "The Ministry would do young people more good by making the country - both magical and Muggle - safer to take students around than by spending their time restricting the ways we can educate them."

Amaryllis narrowed her eyes in concentration as she picked through her pile of books, one of them being returned to the display books soon after. She looked over as Julius referred to her by her forename - since he hadn't addressed her by any name thus far and its use caught her attention. She swallowed heavily before answering his following question, giving herself a pause to think what she should say to that and what it wasn't necessary to say. "My son was old enough to look after himself," she said with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "The job I'd previously held at the Ministry wasn't needed at the time, thank goodness - be it only because Fudge wouldn't listen to Albus Dumbledore and prepare himself while he had time. I'm not sure I entirely wanted to return to it anyway. And having devoted a great deal of time to one child, teenager, and his friends - I decided to carry on working with young people. Duelling has always been something I've been interested in; the position was open, I was qualified and could do with a proper pension when I'm older - many factors led me into teaching. But I do enjoy it. I'm looking forward to teaching Muggle Studies too - teaching about positive things which are there and are coming to be rather than trying to put them back together again." Amaryllis gave Julius a small smile, recalling with slight sadness some of the destruction she'd had to deal with in earlier days, before changing the topic onto the future rather than the past. She usually found that easier to think about. "I'm surprised you would leave the post though, to go back to an incompetent Ministry that rarely does anyone any good. Of course someone with some sense there would be helpful but now that I've started teaching I don't think I'd want to go back to the Ministry for anything." She added silently to herself that perhaps she would for Robert if in some bizarre twist of circumstances it became necessary, but, since she'd rather spoken her thoughts than given attention to a polite reply, she expanded slightly, adding, "Forgive me - merely you don't sound particularly keen either with the reality of the institution you intend to work for or with the idea of working for them. Your leaving Hogwarts to work for the Ministry puzzles me a little." Amaryllis met Julius' eye for a moment, before she returned to sorting out her books and checking them off against her list. She did have to return home at some point, after all, and she would prefer not to have to return to Hogsmeade too many times to complete a task she should already have done.

((First paragraph comes from impressions of other posts I've read Foxcroft in (and I've read most of them, I think.). If you've any problems, let me know. I can always afford to be accomodating.))

[Professor Julius Foxcroft]

Julius was looking surreptitiously at the books Amaryllis was choosing, grudgingly approving of them – he felt a pang as he realised she sounded professional and remembered that Dumbledore had always spoken highly of her. He was ashamed to admit to himself how much he would have preferred it if she had been lost and needing his help to do this. He passed over this feeling though as the conversation moved on. He tightened his cloak around him in that same gesture that implied he wanted to isolate himself from the outside world and listened to what she had to say. "Yes, you do have a point there. Just seems like we can't depend on them for anything lately – it feels like one's fighting not one enemy but two at times," he said broodingly.

Julius was slightly taken aback. "I'm that obvious?" he asked in surprise. There was nothing stopping him from telling Amaryllis everything. What would he achieve by beating around the bush? She knew what it was like at the Ministry, and she knew what it was to teach, so she should understand. And Julius knew that he needed to discuss this decision with someone, he needed another person to tell him he was doing the right thing even if he knew he was, and what he needed most - reluctant as he was to share his feelings with anyone - was to explain to someone else why he was leaving a job he loved dearly to return to a job he had been quite competent doing but hadn’t given him the pleasure of teaching. "In the light of all that's happened and that is happening, Amaryllis, I've had to reconsider a lot of decisions I'd made. I just feel that I'm not doing all that I could, and that in fact at Hogwarts I was doing nothing to contribute to the war efforts. At least in the days when I was an Obliviator I was helping the Ministry do something – and this time I intend to help out in any capacity that I can. I loved teaching, and I think I always will – but those deaths we hear about everyday could be one of those students I've come to love," he explained. His cornflower blue eyes had darkened and he was looking determinedly at his hands. It had been so long since he'd opened it up to anyone, and he didn’t notice the length of his speech for he was very much absorbed in his feelings at the moment.

((Flattered to hear you've read most of Foxcroft's posts and yes that is the exact impression I try to project of him.))

[Professor Amaryllis Hardy]

Amaryllis merely nodded as Julius added yet another note of gloom to the conversation - they had both been making fine contributions up to that point, she considered levelly - and decided that the collection of books she'd gathered would be quite sufficient at the same time as she decided the gloom they'd gathered collectively had reached a sufficient level that casting it off would be about as easy as sinking the Bismarck had been for the British. Not impossible, but it would be a lot of trouble. Amaryllis arranged the books into a sturdy pile for moving to the counter but soon realised that pile was indeed unassailable in one attempt. Her eyes lingered for only a moment on Julius' arms that bore only one book before she had unceremoniously deposited a third of her own pile in his arms as her lips broke into an unguarded smile of amusement as she registered his blunt question.

There was no hiding her smiles, but she still felt the need to turn away because he was the kind of fellow she felt might well take them the wrong way. Many things seemed to rub him up the wrong way after all. She didn't want misunderstood amusement to be one of them. Just it being obvious had hardly ever been an issue. He was quite evidently not entirely satisfied from the first moment he started talking to her, and had spent much of the rest of the time complaining about the world situation and the Ministry in particular - granted that had with her encouragement but still. He appeared to suffer from disillusionment so intense that her reaction had been one of mistrust to start with - whyever should someone about to start working at the Ministry dislike them so? Was it in fact her being encouraged? But as the conversation had gone on, she'd heard enough venom in some of his assertions to believe he was a genuine enough man, if somewhat queer in his ways of socialising.

It didn't really take her that long to compose herself again, but by the time she had a quick character judgement had allowed her to let her guard down as far as worrying about why he should want to talk to her went at any rate, and she smiled at him as she picked up her own load of books and moved over towards the counter. "Suspiciously so," she replied over her shoulder as she set down her books on the counter and the assistant began the painstaking task of wrapping each and every one in brown paper. Many of them were leather bound books. None of those mass-produced paperbacks for the wizarding world. Already having convenience thanks to magic had left them rather behind on the technology front, in her view. Having thanked him for his somewhat forced part in transporting books, she listened carefully to his words and views, without saying anything. She tended to listen without adding in any murmurs of consent or 'Yesses' or 'Is that rights?' which to her just signified the person wasn't listening properly.

"You won't do half as much good if you're not doing something you love or at least like. Doing something you've lost the enthusiasm for forces you to expend just as much energy bringing yourself to do it as you actually spend accomplishing the task." she said matter-of-factly as she thought back to the way she'd been in her job after what had happened to Roger. She hadn't had much enthusiasm for anything then really though. She decided abruptly that it would be best were she to change the tack of her response, especially as she considered further what he'd said. "How's the Ministry the best place to go to protect those students or contribute to the 'war' effort?" she asked, somewhat more aggressively than she'd intended and much more than she felt. But still she continued. "They do almost nothing to protect our students. Without students, there's no 'war' because there's nothing worth fighting for - no future. How is preparing young people for the world and giving them enough knowledge to survive contributing nothing?" Amaryllis glanced at him sharply, adding "Thank you" to the assistant as she loaded the now-purchased-and-wrapped books into her strong carry bag and set off towards the door of the shop.

[Professor Julius Foxcroft]

The weight of the books was a sudden surprise. Why did he feel as if she was crossing some sort of boundary, or that she had crossed that invisible circle he had drawn around himself that no-one was allowed to walk into when he was outside his classroom? It jerked him out of his reverie and it was as if he was standing outside himself and looking at the person he had become in incredulous surprise – why was he like a cornered mouse? Why did having someone do something so simple and ordinary make him feel so uncomfortable? Was he so far gone in the state he had immersed himself in that he would always be uncomfortable when things like that happened? He found himself looking at Amaryllis like a child needing advice – but it was with great difficulty that he made himself look up at her. But she was looking away. And no, he was not going to allow himself to feel relieved because she had done that. A little eye contact was not going to pierce two holes into his head. She was suspicious of him. Well, no surprises there. He made no comment on that.

That was the problem with making decisions completely on your own without talking to anyone about them – you saw things from just one angle. In fact, part of Julius just wanted to rush out of the store right now and not give what Amaryllis had said another thought. He had so completely focused on his feeling of inadequacy and helplessness he had completely forgotten that he had been doing something valuable himself – and that perhaps he was giving himself too little credit for what he had been doing. Part of Julius also wanted to leave so he could digest and contemplate what she had said in the silence and seclusion of his own office – probably in the dark, away from everyone and everyone’s thought. And yet, for the first time in a long time, he was struck by how wrong and exceedingly useless that seemed. Ever since Beth had died, and he’d decided his whole needed to be radically changed, he’d made the decision to seclude himself and battle the whole world on his own. It was ironical how much pain he had caused himself now he came to think of it to avoid pain he was afraid of. He’d been so lonely at times and yet he hadn’t recognised the feeling for it what it was – he’d always associated it with missing Beth, calling it that he missed her when in reality it had been that in the beginning but had developed and changed into a pattern and behaviour he just couldn’t change: detachment. And breaking out of it was hard – and yet healing and helpful. It was a pity Amaryllis saw none of the conflict inside Julius – for he was frowning deeply and it made him look so much older than he was and yet everything in his eyes told a different story of a man who was more than just a grumpy old grouch, but she didn’t see because she had her back to him as she paid for the books.

“You’re absolutely right,” he found himself saying after a long pause and the frown was gone from his forehead. But now there was an intensely listless look on his face and the sudden change of expression was almost comical. “Then what do I do? I can’t do something I don’t love, and if there’s one thing I know, I love teaching, love my students, it’s them that are the reason I felt that by staying I was betraying,” said Julius. He looked down and pretended to be wiping the sweat off his forehead but in reality he was just too scared to look at Amaryllis after she had shattered his belief that he was doing the right thing. “Gracious, if I had gone to the Ministry and done things with only half my heart in them – I hate to think of that, I can’t even begin to imagine – how could I not have seen that?” he said impatiently. He was blushing profusely. And that was the moment she had chosen to look back at him. “I’m sorry I just – I –” he stopped. “I’m sorry I sound like a petulant child,” he said finally, and he was struck by how funny that sounded after the sentence had left his lips, and despite himself, he smiled at her for a few seconds.

[Professor Amaryllis Hardy]

Amaryllis was utterly astounded by the effect she'd had on the other man; how quickly he'd realised the exact implications of what she was telling her was astonishing. All there'd been to stop him realising them was himself, but some people weren't able to overcome themselves quite as easily - the views you'd set yourself in were some of the hardest to change, after all. She could feel the first foundations of respect forming inside her as she listened to new perspectives dawning on him in a way he mustn't have allowed them to before. And another thing that astonished her was how open he was in his complete change of mind - this coming from the man who blocked the entire world with a single newspaper (without that newspaper even needing to be broadsheet) and who would hardly reveal whether he took sugar in his tea or not without making you feel you'd invaded upon his sacred privacy. She was flabbergasted, really she was - and yet she must have given him a greater shock to have rendered such a significant change. He must really be a true recluse if she was the first person to have presented him with an alternative view on the decision he'd taken - for she could not see any other way that what she'd said could have come as such a shock.

She had just reached this conclusion as he came out with a wonderful and quite untrue sentence, and her amusement bubbled up again so that she smiled at exactly the same time as he did. And he looked so much more like someone his age should when he smiled - and when he blushed, as she now realised he was doing, despite a complete lack of embarrassment-causing derision from her. He was less impenetrable than he might seem she realised, also noting that she would have to try not to be too sharp - even flippant - with him as her usual manner had a slight tendency to be. It was hard to change the way she related to people though - she was the kind of person who spoke as soon as the exact words to express what she wanted to say came to mind, without worrying about how they would be taken. The greatest pauses her conversations suffered were while she determined exactly what needed saying to convey her meaning.

"No, believe me you don't." she told him honestly but with the same smile of amusement back on her face as she laid her hand on his arm momentarily to reassure him of her sincerity. "I've had my fair share of listening to a petulant child while my son was growing up and you sound nothing like him. Besides, you're not helpless as far as sorting out your frustration goes, nor have you just lost an argument you were never going to win anyway." She watched him for a moment and then, pushing open the door of the shop and stepping out into the air which had a good hint of autumn about it, she waited for him rather than heading off along the street. "Was that me you were asking what you should do?" she questioned him. "Ask yourself - and be honest with yourself - ask yourself if staying with your students at Hogwarts is what you want to do most, and do what you want to do most because that's where you'll be most useful. If it is the case that you want to stay with your students, then your options are a fairly simple choice anyway. We both know the job's cursed but... it's a vital subject the students need now more than ever."

[Professor Julius Foxcroft]

Yes, he could see that now. An argument? There had been no argument – he couldn’t remember the last time he'd actually had to defend himself in an argument or defend his point of view. In the past two years it had been all about him and the way he saw things, a one-sided sad story with one protagonist, and Julius had been all too ready to accept the role of the tragic hero. Could he possibly allow other people the chance to simply express their point of view on a decision he made all by himself? Could he stop himself from feeling as if they wouldn’t understand? Thing had gone well since he had been at Hogwarts, and the decision to go there was one of the few decision he had never ever regretted or looked back upon – but that didn't mean he was in control of everything else of his life. He had been on the verge of taking a decision that was a grave mistake. His life wasn't a monologue, and if he insisted on making it so, he would end up hurting himself and maybe others. Julius looked down at Amaryllis hand. He didn’t resent her for saying that it was an argument he could never win. There was a lump in his throat. He needed more time to wrap his head around what he'd almost done. But Amaryllis wasn't going to give him that. And though he didn’t know it now, he would later on be eternally grateful for that. He'd beat himself up over his mistakes too much in the past – and regretting your mistakes and living in the past were of no use to anyone.

He followed her outside, the air fresh and invigorating, and he listened to the reply to his question. But Amaryllis' suggestion was like a punch to the stomach. His eyes widened in surprise and he stared at her speechless. She couldn’t honestly be suggesting that he – there was no way he could think about – Julius' mind was racing. And yet the answer to the question before that was definitely yes. And – he couldn’t actually believe he was allowing himself to think this – but he knew that vital didn’t even come close to describing the importance of Defence to his students. "I – I don’t know what to say," he said finally. He placed his hands on his throbbing temples and took a few deep breaths.

((I know I'm not exactly moving this forward, but you could hardly expect him to give in right away now could you?))

[Professor Amaryllis Hardy]

It was a lot to take in for Julius, and Amaryllis could see that so she didn't press her points further but just gave him some time to think. Amaryllis had always been entirely clear, and honest with herself as to what she wanted to do career-wise - although admittedly it was only in the past few years that she'd started to do much again. So she was still surprised at his reaction even having already coming to the conclusions she'd already come to. It was just different than you'd normally expect - but then Julius Foxcroft just wasn't normal as far as social interaction went. Amaryllis had to remind herself that everyone deceived themselves in some sort of way to cope with situations before she started to understand it at all; her area of deception wasn't career but relationships. Amaryllis was judgemental, but she was always reviewing her judgements and trying to override her preconceptions if she felt she didn't have sufficient understanding - did she really have the right to form any opinion?

When he finally did speak he almost might as well not have done - because that much was quite self-evident. But it did do one thing - it got Amaryllis talking again. Even with the knowledge she needed to be sensitive about what she said and how she said it - not being too blasé for example - she found it very hard to change what she was saying because sentences and phrases came into her mind fully formed with the exact meaning she wanted to communicate and nothing less would do.
"It's what you do that's important," she told him. "DADA needs teaching and everyone's too scared to teach it - it needs someone who has the guts to take the job, because someone ignorant of the dangers can't prepare the students for the dangers they're being expected to face right now. And on top of that, it also needs someone who knows the subject very well - and you trained as a Auror, am I right?" Amaryllis frowned - she wasn't all that sure about her facts here, because she had barely ever talked to him or heard about him. But she was fairly sure there was something that qualified him for the position. "If you want to carry on teaching... well you're the best person I know of to fill the position. But... oh, it's up to you. No one can make the decision but you. And you know the facts of the situation as well as I. There just isn't anything more to say about it - I'm not surprised you don't know what to say."

She smiled at the other man briefly before offering her hand for him to shake. He needed time to think it over himself, and she wasn't going to help by sticking around. He looked so confused she'd rather have given him a reassuring pat but that would seem wrong - especially since she'd noticed how his gaze had been directed at the place on his arm where her hand rested before. It wasn't so much as though he resented it as though he just didn't know what to make of it - as though he hadn't experienced anything as small as that in a long time. Again, it was something she didn't understand, and something she just couldn't allow herself to judge and musn't allow herself to.
"Good luck with your thinking," she told him as she set off along the street to her next destination. She'd be thinking herself about the conversation for a long time - but possibly not for as long as he would be.

((You never said what time tomorrow... but anyway then this post is finished as far as I'm concerned. Sorry it took so... long. Yey, we finally finished!))