Apologies That Ring No Bell ((Adam))

[Raelee Gray]

”More than us and we are them. But they don’t know, what’s in their hands. It’s more than you and it’s more than I but it’s more and everybody calls it love.” Rae’s hand glided over the drawing she had propped up in her lap. The felt pen seeping in and bringing colour into the drawing. She had lost inspiration after the accident unless she drew something dark and despairing. Today was an odd day where she was drawing something that didn’t include death, or anything that could be connected to death. Maybe she was finally getting out of her funk. Rae sure hoped so, she hated drawing those dark and awkward drawings no matter how good they were. Her green eyes lifted from her sketchpad and scanned the common room which was empty. She didn’t know where everyone was, but they weren’t in there and Rae wasn’t sure whether or not to consider that a blessing or be worried that there wasn’t the usual horde of students studying. Rae stopped colouring in the background and rested her head against the back of the chair as she pondered visiting Adam in the hospital wing. Chances are he didn’t remember her in the least bit, and if he did know anything about her it was because of Dixie and Rae really didn’t trust Dixie with telling him anything good about her.

After a moment of thinking and Travis ringing through her ears, Rae closed the sketchpad and stood from the chair she had been sitting in. Without thinking twice about it, she left the common room, her sketchpad tucked neatly under arm. Her feet carried her to the Hospital Wing as her mind wondered what she would say once she got there. ”Hi, I’m Raelee Gray, the one who caused you to lose all your memories because I was drunk and made you swerve off the road?” Rae shook her head, and sighed as she thought even more about it. There wasn’t anything that Rae could really say except that she was sorry and she didn’t know how that would go over with Adam. There was only one way to find out, Rae took a deep breath in as she neared the Hospital Wing and once she was outside the door she released it and pushed the door open. The hospital wing always made Rae feel sick to her stomach, bad memories came from this room and Rae had hated it ever since then. Her eyes immediately landed on the only other person in the room, Adam. The door closed behind her and Rae could feel her heartbeat quicken. She felt so guilty and when she felt guilty she got nervous.

“Adam?” Rae finally spoke up as her left hand flew to her sketchpad and fidgeted with the corner of the cover that was coming off. She took a step forward and then a couple of more before she was a few feet away from his bed. She smiled as brightly as she could before taking a seat. “I’m Rae… I…” She laughed lightly and continued to fidget with the sketchbook, her eyes breaking the gaze and looking at her feet. “Do you know who I am? I mean, has Dixie said anything about me? Because I’m fully prepared to deny anything bad she’s said and agree with anything good or with anything that is connected to your… accident.”

[Professor Adam Greene]

It was bad, and getting worse. More days had went by, and still no indication that his memories were getting any better. Adam was starting to get depressed, thinking that he might lose Dixie. Sure, she said she'd be there for him, but he could tell things were not the same as what she described before. Even though she didn't say so, he knew that's how it was, and to him, it was his fault for not remembering. He wasn't trying hard enough. As he laid on the bed with his back faced toward the door, he held his eyes shut tight, straining his mind. He had to remember, he just had to.

When he heard someone come in, he held still, pretending to be asleep. He couldn't do it again. Dixie was there for him, and she was strong. But he couldn't do it now. It was too hard for him to keep talking to her with the hope that the memories would return. What if they didn't? He knew it meant that he and Dixie would surely fade. When the person spoke though, it wasn't the familiar voice that he was used to hearing. It wasn't Sierra either. Curious, Adam turned from his side and saw a girl standing in front of him that he didn't know. She looked nervous and she was clutching some sort of book. Confused, Adam watched as she hesitantly approached his bed and took a seat.

Rae. Dixie had told him about Rae, just as Rae was assuming she would have. He didn't really think that Dixie had said much bad things, aside from making it known that it was Rae who caused the accident. So there she was, the very person who was, in a sense, responsible for the accident. "Hi..." he said slowly, not quite sure what to say. He wasn't mad, as he thought he might have been. It was easy to be mad at the situation, but seeing Rae there, he knew that it wouldn't be right of him to be angry with her. Apparently she had come to offer peace, or at least check on him. "She has told me a little about you," he offered. He didn't want to say too much, as he wanted Rae to do the talking. He trusted Dixie's account of the incident, but he wanted to see how Rae would explain what happened. Silent, he just starred at her, waiting for her to talk first.

[Raelee Gray]

Rae watched Adam’s back as she continued to fidget with her sketchbook. Immediately she knew it was a bad idea to come. He probably hated her. Even if he didn’t remember anything about her. Especially then, because Dixie could talk all the bollocks she wanted. Adam wouldn’t be able to think of anything other than what Dix had told him. Could you be anymore self centred at the moment? Rae let out a sigh as Adam spoke and she sank deeper into the chair beside his bed. She raised an eyebrow when he said Dixie had said a little, it was how much a little was that bothered her. It didn’t matter, though, because Rae knew she deserved more than what Dixie had said. After all, she was the reason for the accident and for all this unhappiness, Rae deserved to be a miserable human being for the rest of her life. “Right…” Rae said as she breathed in and cast her eyes down to her feet again. “Well… I just wanted to… uh…” she tucked a curl behind her ear as her stomach did even more flips. “Apologise. I wanted to apologise. But my apology might just fall on deaf ears if you don’t remember what happened or if Dixie gave you a wrong version to make me look worse than I really was… which I completely deserve in every way.” She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she thought about telling him what happened. She knew she should… but she didn’t want to. She didn’t even know if he wanted to hear about it again.

After a moment of silence and Rae fidgeting with her sketchbook, she opened the black cover and looked down at the drawing in front of her. “If I were you… I wouldn’t want to hear anything about the accident or anything about anything having to deal with the accident. So, I’m going to assume that what Dixie told you has given you a fairly good insight into what a complete twit I can be and this is me saying I’m sorry and hoping to prove to you that I’m not always that way. I don’t want you to think that… not that I’m important in any way, and I’m pretty sure you hated me when you knew me for only an hour.” She smirked and shook her head as she picked up one of her drawings. It was one of the many she had done when she had a rare spurt of inspiration. “Anyway… getting past the whole me being a complete twit and apologizing to you… can I show you something?” Rae looked at the drawing once more and then leaned forward to hand Adam the drawing. It was one of him and Dixie at Rizzo’s while they were dancing. The image had been burnt into her mind and the only way she could get it out was to draw it. Across the top in her handwriting were the words, “Forever in a moment.” She waited a moment and then looked back down at her hands, “I know all this has to be hard for you, but it’s also hard for her. For all the years I’ve known Dix, not once have I seen her care for someone as much as she cares for you. And I can’t help but feel really guilty about everything because it’s my fault.”

[Professor Adam Greene]

Indeed, she had come to apologize as he had assumed. Lucky for her, he was too depressed to bother trying to make her feel guilty. Plus, it wouldn't have been right for him to have done that anyways. It would only be anger directed toward someone who just happened to make a bad choice. He knew, or at least assumed, that had Rae been aware of what would have came from that night that she wouldn't have done whatever it was she did. Adam wasn't even quite sure what it was. Dixie only said that she was drunk and that she caused him to wreck, but he didn't know if it went any deeper than that or not. Heck, he didn't even know Rae, except for the fact that she was here now to apologize. It meant something at least.

Adam shrugged his shoulders, "Apology accepted. What's done is done, right?" He knew that Rae would probably think it was not as simple as that, and honestly, it wasn't. But, Adam was tired of bringing it up. It seemed that it only caused more pain when he thought about it. Maybe it was time to start looking at the future and just forgetting about worrying about his memories. The only problem was that Dixie was what remained burried in his past. No matter how hard they tried, it was staying that way for now.

Pushing those thoughts from his head, and listened to Rae. He didn't have much to say in response, but he let her talk anyways. It probably helped her to get it off of her shoulders, he thought. Then, she asked him if he minded her showing him something. She handed him the book that she was holding and explained what the picture was that she had drawn. He looked at the drawing and instantly felt sick to his stomach. It was only another memory that he had been stripped of- one that even Rae had that he didn't. Adam opened his mouth to speak, but then Rae spoke again. More pain. It seemed like that was the only thing he was able to feel recently. He handed the book back to Rae and then interlocked his fingers, placing both hands behind his head and collapsing backward onto his bed so that he was laying down. Tears filled his eyes. "I don't know what I am supposed to do." He was talking to Rae, knowing that she probably didn't expect to have to deal with this. Even if she didn't listen, it was his chance to finally confess his fears to someone besides Dixie and Sierra who had already heard it all before. He never told them everything though. There was always so much more that he kept inside. If he told them everything, they wouldn't be able to handle it. Their support could only go so far, he figured.

"If the memories don't come back Rae, she can't stay and wait forever. I mean, gosh, I want her to stay so bad, but without the memories, she's better off without me. I'm just dead weight that is holding her back. She deserves to be free, and I'm only chaining her down. But she can't see that, and I'm too selfish to just tell her to leave." He closed his eyes and even in the silence, everything was still so loud. Desperate, he waited for Rae to break into the noise that screamed inside his head.

((spell check wasn't working, so ignore any mistakes ))

[Raelee Gray]

What’s done is done. That saying sounded so weird. Because there were cases where things could have been changed and that it could have been ‘done’ differently. Why hadn’t things been ‘done’ differently in this case? Rae would give anything to be able to go back and change everything. She couldn’t, though, and although Adam’s statement rang through her head she still couldn’t bring herself to accept it. “Yeah, I guess, if you choose to see it that way.” She chewed on the inside of her cheek again as she looked out the window at the sunny day. That was strange, it felt so dark and grey inside the hospital wing. Maybe it was because of the lack of decoration or because of the gloomy atmosphere. Rae sighed and looked back to Adam as he looked at the picture. He handed the book back to her without a word and Rae took it, closed the cover and leaned back in her chair as her eyes never left Adam. When he spoke, she closed her eyes a moment so she wouldn’t be able to see the pain in his. It didn’t stop the pain in his voice from making its way over to her ears, though. There was a silent moment, and Rae opened her eyes again. “Maybe… this really isn’t my place to say, but… maybe you don’t have to do anything. Would it really be all that bad if you didn’t remember things?” The second she said it, she knew it was a mistake and a rather stupid thought. “I mean… that came out differently than I meant it.”

She pulled on the bracelet around her wrist as she gathered her thoughts. Another couple of seconds of silence engulfed them and Rae finally broke it by sighing, “Obviously it’s a bad thing not to remember much, but… would it be so difficult to start all over? Just with the whole Dixie aspect of the situation. I’m sure she’d be more than willing to start all over if she had to. In fact, I’m more than sure because Dixie has been wanting to start over her whole life… ever since fifth year when she was admitted into Bethlem.” Rae remembered that year actually quite well, considering it was the year they had fallen out of touch with each other. “OK, maybe I’m not so sure. I don’t know what I’m saying.” She offered a small smile to Adam and then quickly looked down again. She felt so timid and so scared and she didn’t know why. “You aren’t chaining her down, though.” Rae suddenly said as she looked back up at him. “Honestly. Dixie has nothing to return to. Not even a healthy family life. She had nothing before you and she would probably have nothing in her future if it weren’t for you. If you really think you are chaining her down you should tell her to go. Whether or not she’ll listen is something I can’t tell you, but at least then you can say you tried.”

Rae looked at Adam and then shrugged, “Would it be all that bad to have Dixie with you even if you don’t remember? Or would it be like a tease…? Because she’s proof that there is something that you don’t remember and it’ll just kill you every day knowing that you can’t get to the memories?”

[Professor Adam Greene]

"Yeah," he said simply after hearing Rae's last question. Then, he thought back and tried to explain everything else that she had touched on. "I know that we could just start over and that maybe it would be possible without the memories. But it just hurts so bad to think that they're gone. I mean they are our beginning, you know? They are just important, and I think that it would just be like an invisible wall between us if I didn't have them." He had already thought of this many times before, convincing himself that the memories really were important for it to be possible for he and Dixie to ever work again.

"And yes, I've only recently found out that she doesn't have much aside from what she had with me. I just don't know Rae. I mean, I can see myself loving her, but I know that this whole thing is painful for her too." He put his lips together and frowned at the thought, shaking his head slightly. "Just the other night, I think I may have pushed her too far though. Honestly, the last thing I want is to lose her now, but I can't help but think it is the best thing for her. Sure it would be painful, but the pain would only be temporary, right? After that night though, she's come less often to visit. And when she does, she is awfully quiet. Maybe I was too negative. But she has to see the reality in the situation. I can't let her cling to a hope that could be shattered. I just think it's best to get rid of the hope before it grows." Adam went on and on, speaking to Rae, but in a sense still trying to convince himself that this was all for the good of both he and Dixie as well as the best thing for their possible future together. He looked up to her once more. "But you don't need to worry about all of this. I appreciate your coming to apologize, but don't feel guilty. You can feel free to go whenever you want. You're not obligated to stay if you don't feel comfortable staying."

[Raelee Gray]

Rae had been focusing on the window as Adam spoke, but when he said he might have pushed Dixie too far, she turned her attention to him rather quickly. She listened and when he said something about reality, she just shook her head in disbelief. “Dixie doesn’t do well with reality, Adam. She never has. It’s… Dix, she ran away to this imaginary kingdom in her mind for years because she couldn’t deal with reality.” Rae looked at him a moment and then shook her head again, still in disbelief, “I can’t believe she didn’t tell you that… well, I mean I understand why she didn’t, she didn’t want to scare you. I wonder if she even told you about it before. Dixie’s the queen at keeping secrets and looking normal, but she isn’t, Adam. She’s far from normal. She’s schizophrenic and she believes she has an alternate personality in this land named Kurr.” It was amazing how much one could find out by snooping through their father’s files in his office. She knew it probably wasn’t her place to tell Adam all this, but Dixie hadn’t said anything and Adam deserved to know just what he was casting back out into the world. It wasn’t like Rae saw Dixie as this beast or anything, it was just that Dixie had never been as stable as she seemed to be when she was with Adam. If he was pushing her out, Rae had to keep an eye on her.

After a moment of silence, Rae pulled her feet underneath her and said with another small shrug, “Just don’t let your fears and your pessimistic beliefs focus in on Dixie. I think a lot of what you’re saying are things that are forming from the idea that Dixie will leave you if things get too rough or too hard to handle, and I don’t think she will.” Rae chewed on her bottom lip, there was always a fair chance that she would, though. “Besides that… you don’t want to lose Dixie. If she isn’t good for anything else, she’s good for a mean cup of chai tea and she’s a pretty good fashion designer if I’ve ever met one. Dixie would do anything for you… even just be a friend, and she’d hide the pain too… but she’d be a friend. She’d be there with just one request in exchange… you be there for her.” Rae hadn’t been in contact with Dixie in over two years, but she knew Dixie like the back of her hand especially since Dixie and Rae used to be the exact same. A lot of Dixie’s fears were Rae’s fears and a lot of Rae’s thoughts were similar to Dixie’s. Rae could watch Dixie and know what was going through her mind simply by the way she stood or fidgeted if she was fidgeting. To Rae it was as easy as 1,2,3.

“You just said the magic words. I’m not obligated and I shouldn’t feel guilty. For now, you’re stuck with my company whether you like it or not. Though, I’m certain you’d prefer Mr. Bear’s company over there,” Rae nodded toward the bear on the table beside his bed, “over my company. After all, I’m not nearly as adorable. Does it do anything?” Rae reached over and picked it up, regretting it almost instantly because the bear started to dance and sing. She dropped the stuffed animal on the ground and felt her eyes widen, “OK, that’s a cruel cruel joke.” She smirked at Adam and then leaned over to pick up the bear again before stuffing it in the drawer by the table. Muffled singing could be heard from inside. “It does stop, doesn’t it?” she asked in a whisper.

[Professor Adam Greene]

Adam listened as Rae explained a little more about Dixie's personality and tendencies. He knew most of what Rae was saying, but some of it, he wasn't quite as aware of. Dixie had explained that her life was less than stellar to say the least, but she really hadn't told him all the details. She may have told him everything before the accident, but he doubted that since she had mentioned that there were things he didn't know when they had last talked. In a way though, it was hard for him to hear Rae saying some of what she said. Whether it was true or not, it seemed to be portraying Dixie as weaker than what she let on. He shook his head and thought. She had been so strong for him in the past month, dealing with the whole situation and all. It wasn't until he started to act negative that she seemed to lose her composure. Even if what Rae was saying held any water, he still thought of Dixie as a strong person. At least she had transformed into one, even if she used to have trouble dealing with reality and such.

"Well, I guess it's good to hear that she will be willing to fight for everything to work out. She has told me that as well, but it's always nice to know that someone from the outside can look in and reassure that the situation looks positive. But I still can't make myself believe that the memories would ever return. And as you said, it just would be too difficult to go on and know that there was something there that I can never bring back.

He watched as Rae made mention of the bear that Dixie had brought. She picked it up and it began to do what Dixie had charmed it to do when he asked her to. He smiled slightly at Rae's surprise. "Here," he said, taking the bear and doing what he remembered Dixie doing to make it quiet. He sat it back on the dresser. "She brought me that," he said, letting the memories of that night flood back into his head. "You really think she'll stick around then?" he asked with a hint of hope. "You know, as hard as it is with her here, I think it would be a lot worse with her gone. But unfortunately I haven't told her that." He frowned a bit and looked down at his hands which were clenched together as he cracked his knuckles, a nervous habit that he had developed over the years. "I just don't know what to say to her anymore. It's like, I feel selfish admitting that I like her being here, but then I feel terrible thinking that if I continue to act like a jerk, she might just get tired of it all and leave. What should I do Rae?"

[Raelee Gray]

Rae shifted in her seat and tugged on a tendril of her hair as Adam spoke. She shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. Usually she’d back out of something if it didn’t improve, but she cares about you too much to do that. Sometimes I wonder if she realizes that there are things that can harm her…” The thing with Dixie was that she always did things that she thought were good for her when they weren’t because they actually hurt her. After everything happened, though, Dixie seemed to put up this wall so nothing could hurt her except for what was inside her and the thing with that little wall was that Dixie blocked everyone else out as well. It had seemed that she was letting that wall down when she had met Adam… or at least from what Rae had seen. Now the wall would be put back up, she just knew it. “Just… sometimes I worry about her. I’m worried about you, too.” Rae smiled softly at him as she tucked the curl behind her ear. She didn’t know Adam all that well, but she knew that it couldn’t be right for him to be pushing away people or thinking negatively. She didn’t say that, though, because she would be a hypocrite. Rae was known for being a pessimist.

She watched as he quieted the bear, and then said that Dixie had brought it. “Oh… I didn’t know Dixie liked teddy bears. Now I know what to get her for her birthday. Though, for an 18th birthday I’m pretty sure she’d request something more. A teddy bear and a card, maybe?” Rae smiled again and shrugged as if to brush it off. It was awhile away anyway. She shifted her eyes down to the ground when Adam asked if she really thought Dixie would stick around. He then cracked his knuckles and out of instinct she tilted her head to the right and cracked it and then to the left.

“What do you want to do, Adam? As stupid as that question is, only you can answer it. I don’t know what you should do, but I know that you have to do what you want to do. If you really want her to stay around, if you enjoy having her here with you then maybe you should tell her that. There’s only so much a girl can take without acknowledgement or a thank you. You can’t continue to push her away and then pull her back. You can’t play tug of war with her, Adam. She’s not a rope, she’s not even a piece of thread. I know it’s a lot to take in especially with all that’s going on at the moment, but you have to decide. You have to choose between being happy with her here or being relieved that she isn’t tied down to you if you tell her to go away. Whatever you choose, Adam, make it fast because I don’t know how much more she can take. She might stay, she might not. Dix is a ticking time bomb.”

[Professor Adam Greene]

Adam gave a soft smile. “That’s kind of you, Rae, to say that you care. But do you think Dixie will back out of this? You know, like you just said she tends to back out of things if they don’t improve. Because… well… I just don’t think things will improve. And, if what you say is true, then maybe I should just be ready for her to go then.” Adam kept on rationalizing the whole situation in his mind. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, deep down he wanted to blame it on Dixie if she left. Although he was the one pushing her away, he was grasping to find a way to put it all back on to her. It was wrong of him- completely wrong. But it was the only thing that he could bring himself to do. At this point, he didn’t know what was best for he and Dixie. No matter what they chose, it would come with a healthy dose of pain that neither of them deserved.

When Rae mentioned Dixie’s birthday, Adam’s face reflected a look of interest. “When is it?” he questioned, not having been retold that piece of information yet. It was something he assumed he’d known before. The past few weeks had been like this- Adam kept trying to pick up bits and pieces of information he had lost. It wasn’t the same as remembering, but it was a step.

“But how can I choose?” he replied after Rae’s comments. “Seriously, what gives me the right to make this decision? The thing I want Rae is for Dixie and I to find happiness again. I just don’t see that happening though, without my memories. And if they don’t come back, then I want Dixie to be happy- no matter what that involves. Yes, maybe I am pushing her away, but what if that’s the best thing for her? It’s just that deep down I can’t bring myself to admit that, and that’s why I can’t tell her to leave and why I keep pulling her back. The problem is Rae, I can’t make the decision. I just can’t possibly bring myself to one conclusion over another.” He shook his head back and forth in frustration.

[Raelee Gray]

“Were you always this pessimistic? Or is it just an effect from the accident?” Rae asked with a slight frown. She hadn’t known him that well before, but from what she had seen he hadn’t been nearly as negative. “Dixie’s going to do what she thinks is best for you. If you keep pushing her away, she might just leave because it’s what she thinks you want. Now, if you want something completely different than you should tell her that. All this isn’t just hard on you, Pretty Boy, it’s tearing her up inside too and all she wants is for you to get better. Honestly I don’t know what’s going on in her little head enough to tell you whether or not she’ll back out. You know this Dixie fairly better than I do, well… at least you did. I’m fairly certain you still do, though, you’re just too negative to go looking for it.” Rae raised an eyebrow at him, wondering why he wasn’t willing to try his hardest to get everything back to the way it was before. Yes, perhaps it was mentally exhausting and perhaps it wasn’t worth it, but Rae would’ve done everything in her power to get her memories back if she were in Adam’s position. Especially if she had someone caring about her as much as Dixie cared about him.

Rae snapped out of her reverie when she heard Adam ask when Dixie’s birthday was. She looked up to the ceiling, and tried to think of the exact date. It had been awhile, but she knew it was around the summer months. Finally it came to her and she looked back at Adam, “July 16th, I believe, give or take a day or two. It’s in July, though, that’s for certain.” She shrugged, feeling quite proud of herself for remembering when she hadn’t celebrated Dixie’s birthday for two years.

She listened to him and then sat in silence for a moment before biting her cheek and nodding her head. “Alright, just bear with me for a few more moments, okay? So, if you aren’t going to choose. Do you expect her to? Maybe she’s going through the same thing you are. Maybe she wants to stay but she knows that there’s nothing to stay for. Ever think of that? And what if it isn’t the best thing for her? What if staying here with you is the best thing no matter how much pain it’ll bring because it has to be ten times better to be with you than be someplace alone. Just what if?” Rae leaned forward and grinned, “Think about all the what if’s. What if you do let her go and then the memories come back… what if? What if she stays and they return…? There are so many things to take into account and all you’re doing is looking at the negative because it’s the easiest thing to do at the moment. But, Adam, all you have to do is trust Dixie enough to let her stay and help you and love you and trust yourself to know that you will get better with or without her help.”

[Professor Adam Greene]

"Pessimistic? But I tried optimism and look at how far it got me. All it did was bring false hope. How am I supposed to be anything besides pessimistic." He spoke in a bitter voice, but then calmed himself when he realized that Rae wasn't there to cause a fight. She was probably more lucid that he was and so maybe he should take her comments as truth and just stop acting like a selfish jerk. It was really what he had been lately, and especially to Dixie. Sure, maybe he hadn't explicitly came out and acted like a jerk, but his attitude sure did convey that appearance. Maybe it was best that he was finally realizing all of this.

"I suppose I could be more positive," he said, caving into his own guilty conscious without Rae needing to say any more. "And maybe I will try to talk to Dixie again. It's just that after what happened last night, I don't even know where to begin again. It's just all so messed up, and I think that most of it is probably my fault. I mean, aside from the accident.... which I'm not blaming you, but just that was out of my control. Everything since then has been in my control I guess. And I think that I have just went about it all wrong. Yet, given the chance again, I'm not even so sure what I would do different. It's just not easy."

Adam stood up from his bed. Lately, he had been sneaking in little walks back and forth to the window when nobody was there. He was getting to the point where he was less tired and didn't need as much support when walking. Finally, his body was starting to readjust from being unconscious for so long. Madam Pompfrey had even said that in a week or so, he would be healthy enough to return to a normal schedule. The funny thing was that he didn't even know what normal was.

"I should be back in classes next week," he said with an ambivalent tone. Half of him was so ready to escape the hospital wing, yet the other was almost scared in a sense- afraid of what was waiting for him when he returned completely. Most of all, he was afraid of what would happen between he and Dixie. It would be so much more difficult when they would be together in public. It was hard enough to be alone and try to sort through everything, but with others constantly starring and probably talking about them, he wasn't sure if he could take. "So what's the news around school?" he asked, expressing his curiosity to Rae. "You know, like what's being said about me since my disappearance and such?" Adam didn't expect much. He wasn't very socially known, but he figured that this whole situation would be sure to have an affect on that- probably negative to say the least.

[Raelee Gray]

“That’s the spirit!” Rae said with a roll of her eyes and false enthusiasm when Adam spoke about him being optimistic and how far it got him, which wasn’t very far. She jabbed her fist in the air and smirked before shaking her head and dropping her arm. Rae wasn’t a moron, she knew it must be difficult to keep a happy outlook on life when you were missing half of it, but then again she also knew that Adam wanted something really badly and that meant he would do anything to get it. Or at least, that was meant when he was sorted into Slytherin, considering ‘they’ll do anything to achieve their ends.’ Rae, oddly enough, had been placed in Ravenclaw and she was showing that she had absolutely no brain to use… or she did and she just didn’t like using it. Her mind and heart went into her drawings, what good were spells and such if you couldn’t enjoy them? Which Rae didn’t. She would be happy to live like a muggle and make money through her art.

She shrugged when Adam said it wasn’t easy. “Well, I didn’t say it was going to be. But you have to be willing to give it a shot. Especially if the reward could be really good. If the only thing you got out of all this was a lousy piece of chocolate, I guess you could just slouch it off and wait. But you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, not to mention how hard it is going to be to get back into lessons with all your housemates years ahead of you in experience, and you got that tiny minuscule relationship with a young woman by the name of Dixie Holden waiting for you on the other side of that finish line. Easy or not, it’s there. You willing to get it?” It was a simple enough question to ask, but she knew it wouldn’t be as easy to answer. She didn’t really expect him to either. Rae was just voicing her opinion for him to hear. He didn’t have to listen.

Rae watched as he stood from his bed, wondering if he was supposed to do that, and watched him walk over to the window. She resisted following, but instead stretched out her legs and propped her feet up on the now vacant bed. It was a much more comfortable position compared to the one she had been in before. Rae stretched her arms out in front of her and then dropped them on the arm rests as Adam began to talk again.

He was going to be allowed back to classes soon, and Rae felt pity for him. It was going to be tough, especially with Dixie and him sharing the same common room. Rae didn’t say anything though until he asked her what everyone was saying about him. She scrunched up her face in thought a moment, or pretended to be in thought, and then looked at him in complete seriousness. “Well, there was one wild rumor that you were abducted my little green men from Mars, but Professor Miller quickly squashed that theory by telling everyone that the men weren’t green they were red. And then someone was saying that you had run off and gotten married to some American, and that was squashed by Dixie throwing her tea cup across the room at the kid in Divination. The most recent one, is that you’re leg was torn in two by a giant troll and that you’re in recovery at St. Mungo’s. I think that’s the closest they’ve gotten.”