Stormy Nights and Sweet Deserts ((Jami))

[Meyghan Gallagher R7]

The storm raged outside the walls of the castle. Thunder struck with a truculent and seemingly perpetual boom, giving even the castle what could be considered a nervous and shaky sense. Lightning striking, each bolt with more brightness and electricity than the last. The rain, falling in large drops, hitting the panes of the windows with such intensity that some would fear of a pane being shattered by the strength of the rain. Winds howled through the crevices and cracks of the ancient castle, each time sounding more like the close cries of wolves and werewolves.

Meyghan was one of the more brave students apparently, for as she wandered through the castle looking for just the right place to sit and think, she saw few others out and about. The things that ran through her mind could seem so small to others. She thought about so many things. She thought about Dana, Kris and Cleo, and how she missed them all so. She thought about her father and Kelsey and the new family that she would be gaining soon. She thought about Jamison and how each time she saw him, her feelings grew yet she had to keep them inside. She thought about his sister, Wendi, and how she had appeared to enjoy the company of Cleveland and Lindy at the New Year’s party. She thought of Cleveland and Lindy and how they had connected and seemed delighted at the possibilities of their parents making them brother and sister. Meyghan realized that Cleveland needed some one his age to relate to. Meyghan’s troubles had become more adult than Cleveland wanted to hear. Meyghan had resorted to just pondering her problems and not talking about them. Occasionally when one would seemingly overwhelm her, she would owl Kelsey or Cleo about it, and that usually helped things but there were still things that she kept to herself, for fear of letting them out to the world.

Her feelings for Jamison were one of the things that she hadn’t shared. She had been questioned about it through owls, but always denied it hoping to hide the truth from everyone. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for Jamison to find out yet, and she knew that if she shared it with others that it would eventually find its way to him as a rumor and that was definitely something she didn’t want. She wanted to be the first and only to tell him how she felt once she was even sure of it herself. Meyghan hated being so unsure of her own feelings. It made her feel so insecure. Meyghan was usually so sure of herself and feelings, even the things around her. To not feel sure scared her, and Meyghan didn’t like being scared. She had always considered herself unafraid of anything. Even standing face to face with a Death Eater, she wouldn’t admit fear if it was there. She knew the stories of the tortuous and tormenting ways that the Death Eaters had, yet she still refused to show fear of them. She knew that a single Death Eater could easily kill her, yet she realized that everyone had to die sometime. Meyghan continued to wander through the castle looking for the perfect spot to watch the storm and think.
Finally, after Meyghan had made her way from the dungeons all the way up to the second floor without finding the perfect location, she found it. It was a window where she had often found a third year Hufflepuff she knew as Sadie sitting. She knew that Sadie often used it to think and figure out her own life, and that was exactly what Meyghan needed to do this night. Meyghan made herself comfortable in the window, and watched as the storm raged. As she watched, she opened her mind and let all her thoughts consume her. Little by little each thought flashed in front of her in the window, as if they were being projected onto the pane. Meyghan hoped that only she could see them. For the things that were flashing in front of her, she needed no one else to see.

Thoughts of the recent attacks on Hogsmeade and the castle flashed through like a story, each time Meyghan realized that even then she had been afraid, but not for herself but for others. She wasn’t comfortable admitting that she was scared at all. For it was a weakness that Meyghan didn’t usually have. She wasn’t meant to be scared for anyone. But she had feared the troubles that the Death Eaters would bring to the others around her. What if they had hurt someone that she had loved? What would she then do? There was little that could have been done. Vow vengeance against the Death Eaters, that had been tried before. Join them, never would be something Meyghan could do. These were some of the thoughts that bothered her the most. As those thoughts disappeared, thoughts of Jamison and her together appeared. Meyghan wanted to smile for these were good thoughts, until they got to the point that she hated, the what ifs. What if I tell him, and he doesn’t feel the same way? What if I never get the chance to tell him. These thoughts stayed in Meyghan’s head and didn’t fade away. Meyghan let her mind wander off into the storm as it continued to rage, forgetting where she was and everything around her.

[cdc]

Jamison could see the rain fall as he walked passed the various windows. Each drop seemed to pound the castle harder and harder. Jamison could feel the vibrations as the thunder shook the building. However, Jamison rather liked the rain. Rain, thunder, and lightening gave Jamison an excuse to think. It gave him an excuse to forget about school for one second and think about life instead. There was just so much to think about. It was hard for Jamison to try to put his school issues aside, but he did try to. Life was pounding upon him, hard. Jamison tried not to think about what would happen in February. How could he be Wendi’s legal guardian when he didn’t completely take care of himself? Well, he didn’t financially. How was he supposed to act as a parent figure to his baby sister? And how exactly was he supposed to tell Wendi that grandma and gramp were giving custody over to Jamison when he turned seventeen so they could move to Greece? But this wasn’t the only issue Jamison had to fret over. He had a whole different issue that had been on his mind lately. Meyghan. He cared for her. Jamison cared for her more than he had cared for another girl, but how did he tell her that? What if she felt differently? Jamison might not admit it, but he was afraid to take the risk.

Jamison walked into the kitchens. Meyghan had skipped dinner so Jamison had decided to bring her dinner instead. Really, he had no idea where in the castle she was, but she couldn’t be that hard to find, right? Jamison looked at all the working house elves around him. As they saw him approach, some halted for a brief moment before nodding and rushing back to work. Jamison noticed one house elf in particular walk up to him. The elf gave him a slight nod. Iggy was one of the more talkative house elves that usually cleaned up Jamison’s dorm. When Jamison stayed up late or woke early, Iggy was a common visitor. “Hello Iggy. Hmm, could you guys help me with a little favor?” He asked the house elf nicely/ Iggy gave a small smile. “We are quite busy, but we always like to help the mister Jamison, right Delijah?” Iggy said turning to a smaller girl house elf Jamison recognized as well. Delijah stopped in her tracks and looked at Jamison. She had always taken a liking to Jami ever since his third year. Back then, Jamison defended Delijah to some arrogant Slytherin boy. Ever sense then, Delijah always had to stop and look at Jamison when she saw him. Delijah smiled at Iggy’s comment. “Yes, we like helping the mister Jamison.” Iggy said smiling at Jami. “And I like helping you Deli. How are you feeling today?” He asked smiling to the little elf. “Good, good the mister Jamison.” She said adding the, to his name like every house elf did. Jamison didn’t know why, but it wasn’t so bad. “What can we help you with the mister Jamison?” Iggy asked as Deli gave a slight smile and then went to stand by Iggy. “Well..” Jamison started.

Twenty minutes later, Jamison closed the lid to the picnic basket. “Thanks for the help Iggy, Deli.” Jamison said smiling at the two. “No, problem the mister Jamison. Please do come back and tell me how the young mistress likes the food.” Iggy said as Jamison walked towards the entrance to the kitchen. Jami turned back to look at the house elf. “Will do Iggy. Thanks for the help Deli and visit me anytime.” He said flashing a smile to the scared little elf. She only nodded as Jamison turned to leave the kitchens. Now where could Meyghan be hiding? Jamison knew she wasn’t in the Great Hall or the Common Room and he was pretty sure she wasn’t in her dorm. Jamison didn’t really know where to begin looking, but he did think it was safe to say that she was not out in the rain. Jamison took a right outside of the kitchens and started walking. What was he supposed to say to her when he found her anyways? Jamison had thought he had been good with girls, but he was so young then. He was good with Wendi and her friends. But, Jamison wasn’t too great with girls he liked or at least he didn’t think he was. Jamison sighed as he walked the halls looking for Meyghan.

Jamison approached the second floor. The rain had only grown louder since he had left the kitchens. For a brief moment Jamison wondered how Wendi was reacting to the rain, but he let that thought go quickly. The simplest thought of Wendi for the moment would make Jamison think of how to tell her he would be her guardian. Jamison couldn’t think about this right now. He had thought about this too much. Jamison had to focus. He had to focus on everything and anything besides Wendi right now. He let out a bright smile finally spotting Meyghan standing near a window looking out it. He approached her with a smile. “Hello dear lady. Would you care for some dinner?” He asked smiling brightly holding out the basket. “I didn’t see you at dinner so I brought a bunch of different kinds of sandwiches, a couple of croissants, pears, candy, and of course dessert.” He said smiling placing the basket on the ground. “I hope you don’t mind the company right now.” He said smiling thinking about her previous trance out the window. “Anything on you your mind?” He asked her both sweetly and thoughtfully hoping he didn’t offend her in any way. Jamison waited for Meyghan to answer.

[Meyghan Gallagher R7]

Meyghan was pleased to see Jamison's smiling face. She always felt better when he was around and that was really what she needed. Someone around to make her feel the way she did when she was with Jamison. She felt as if the world was right, and that nothing could go wrong. Meyghan smiled at him as he offered her dinner. "How did you guess that I would be hungry?" She asked playfully.

Meyghan slid around so that her legs dangled from the windowsill and then hopped down so that she was now standing in front of Jamison. "I'm sure everything in the basket will be wonderful." She said. Motioning to Jami, she sat against the wall and hoped he would join her. Looking through the basket, she thought about Jami's last question. Meyghan knew that she needed to tell someone everything that was on her mind, but was Jami really the first one she wanted to admit her feelings for him to? That was a question she was still unsure of. She decided she would just start with the frustrations of the engagement and of the wedding and see how she felt after that.

"There are so many things weighing on my mind right now, I don't know where to start." She said simply, not really wanting to start the conversation with him off ranting about her frustrations and feelings. Meyghan reached into the basket, and found a delicious looking sandwich and took a small nibble, smiling again at Jami as the thunder continued to rage outside the window above them.

((hope the post is worthy. Kinda had to force something out, and have been just writing bits and pieces all day))

[cdc]

Jamison smiled as he sat down next to Meyghan. "Lucky guess." He said referring to how she knew she was hungry. "Actually, I figured that no human being could go without a decent dinner before dementia set in." He paused with a wide grin still set on his face. "And I wouldn't want that to happen to you so here I am." Jamison finished. Jamison shifted a bit on the floor. "I sure hope it is. Mainly Iggy and Delijah did all the work, but I helped some." Jamison paused. "Ok, maybe a tad." He smiled and gave up. "Ok, basically they did all the work, but I will repay them as I always try and do. The truth is, I would make a horrible house elf." He said calmly yet still smiling. It was true. It wasn't that Jamison needed people to do stuff for him all of the time. It was just that he was lousy around the kitchen. Jamison couldn't cook like his Gramp could, but he did try every now and then. However, Wendi would always so nicely remind him that his cooking was horrible and Jamison could let Wendi fix the food as she always did and how she liked to do. Jamison stared at some of the food in the basket. Truth be told, he was actually a bit hungry even though he had eaten a couple of bites of a cheese sandwich at dinner. Heh, Jamison hadn't been hungry then, but he was for the moment. Jamison took out a sandwich and took a bite of it.

Jamison smiled at Meyghan as he took another bite. She looked different. Not, in a bad way at all. She just looked as if there was something bothering her, something on her mind. Jamison sat calmly as she talked. Jamison nodded. Sure, he understood. All sixth years had a ton on their minds and Jamison knew Meyghan was no different than everyone else. Jamison gave a comforting smile. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He said not wanting to pry. "But, I'm a pretty decent listener." He said trying to act casual. "Or at least that's what Wendi says, but that girl is crazy so who knows." He said completely joking. Jamison loved Wendi, but he also loved joking about her. What could he say? It was a sibling thing. Jamison smiled at Meyghan. "I used tell Wendi everything on my mind, but I guess at a certain point Wendi just got fed up with it all. She tries and acts like she is such a simple minded person even though I know that isn't true. So now, I tell anyone and everyone my thoughts." He laughed at himself. "Just kidding. It's hard telling people everything on your mind."

Jamison took another bite of the sandwich lazily. The rain poured more and a flash of lightening fell on the world. Jamison stared out a nearby window. He liked rain. Weird? Maybe, but he just couldn't help it. Rain was just so realizing and it had a way to make Jamison forget. Forget things like problems or anything that he really didn't need to worry about, but couldn't help it. Jamison smiled at Meyghan. He thought about changing the subject, but Jamison figured that if Meyghan wanted to say something, she would. If she didn't, then she wouldn't. Jamison smiled again. "I love rain." He said simply. "It just takes the focus off of what you are doing and makes you think of nothing else besides its strangeness. It just sort of makes you stand back away from your life and think." Jamison took a deep breath. He looked over at Meyghan. Jamison was convinced that his comment had made zero sense and that Meyghan now thought that he was crazy. So, Jamison fell silent. He just looked at Meyghan and waited for her to reply.

[Meyghan Gallagher R7]

Meyghan knew that she couldn't hold her feelings in forever, but she didn't think that she was ready to tell Jami just yet what she was thinking. She wasn't frustrated about as much as she thought she was, but it all did weigh heavily on her mind. She just needed to relax. So what if she told Jami how she felt about him, what would be the worst that could happen. Meyghan realized that the worse thing that could happen was for him to not share her feelings, and return them. Meyghan knew she had to tell him. If the time was right no longer mattered for what if she never found the right time, but always held out for it. She needed to let Jami know since she refused to tell anyone in her owls and it was the one thing weighing the heaviest on her mind.

Looking over at Jami, and then out the window at the rain, she realized that the night was perfect. The weather was her favorite, and she was having a somewhat romantic dinner with someone that she really cared about. She just had to find the way to tell him how she felt. "You are a good listener, Jami. Never doubt that about yourself. And you can always talk to me, I will always be there for you." Meyghan replied to him saying he had been told that he was a good listener. She searched her mind for the right words to tell him how she felt but could not find them. Keep thinking, they will come She thought to herself as she took another bite of her sandwich and looked back out to the rain.

Meyghan eased a bit with Jami's randomness about the rain. He was right. "My dad told me that my mum believed that the rain could wash away your worries and help you admit things easier. I'm not so sure it's true, but I still love the rain as well." It had become amazing to Meyghan all the things that she had discovered that she had in common with Jami. She couldn't help but to wonder if the feelings in her heart was something else that they had in common. She pushed the thought back again, hoping it wouldn't rise for a while. "I just don't know how to word what's on my mind. I really do want to talk about it. I just want to find the right words first, but the thoughts want to surface without the words being right." She wasn't sure where her randomness was coming from, but she felt it was a good thing.

((short again, but I haven't been myself lately so I apologize for it))

[cdc]

Jamison let out a little smile. "Thanks." He said softly. "And I will always be there for you. Always, Meyghan." Jamison said still in a soft tone. He leaned down and picked up Meyghan's hand ever so softly. Jamison kissed her hand lightly and then put it back where it was lying. Jamison offered Meyghan a smile. He hoped she had just picked up on what he was saying. Jamison was saying without words that he really did want to be there for her always. It didn't matter what the situation was or if Meyghan didn't ask for help or needed any. Jamison meant that he would be there for her in whatever way she needed maybe even when she didn't know she needed it herself. Jamison hoped Meyghan had understood the gesture. He didn't know if she had, but he hoped so. Some things like that were hard to understand. Jamison was decent with words, but sometimes, it was hard for him to express what he really felt. Like for Meyghan, he had never felt the same way about any other girl. Really, there had not been very many girls in Jamison's life. But, Jamison never felt how he felt around Meyghan. With Meyghan, it was like they understood each other even without many words. It was hard to explain, but maybe that's why it made so much sense.

Jamison tried to smile, but it was hard. Too many thought were getting mangled in Jamison's head. He wanted to say something, it was just so hard. He could play along with the conversation. Yes, maybe that would be best for the moment. Maybe. Jamison smiled when Meyghan told Jamison what her mom thought about rain. Jamison had hardly ever heard Meyghan mention her mother. One thing that Jamison and Meyghan had in common was the loss of parents. Meyghan had to learn to live without a mother just like Jamison had to learn to live without parents. Neither of them ever really talked about there parents too much. Jamison didn't really like to relive the pain. His parents didn't just die; they were murdered. Keith murdered them and it was hard to tell anyone this. But, maybe he could talk about it with Meyghan one day. Jamison couldn't even talk about it with Wendi really, but maybe he needed to talk about it. Maybe Jamison needed to talk about how much he hated Keith and how he feared him. Jamison smiled at Meyghan. "It's true, Meyghan. My mum believed something along the same lines. When I was young she used to say that rain made it easy to forgive and forget. Okay, so maybe it isn't the same thing, but that's what she used to say." Jamison said grinning. "But, I don't think it's true. Because, every time it rains, I think about her. And I never forget and I will never forgive." What Jamison had just said was personal. He was now looking at the ground. After a moment, he looked back up at Meyghan. Hopefully, she understood. Jamison hoped so.

Jamison was pretty sure he had tensed up the mood unintentionally. He hoped he hadn't. But, he wasn't exactly sure yet. Jamison smiled as he lightened enough. "Fair enough." He said smiling. Say something chicken. He mind told him. But, Jamison couldn't. He just stared at Meyghan quietly. He wanted to say so much, but it was hard. Maybe a few more moments, was all he needed. Maybe then he could tell Meyghan what he wanted to. Jamison stared out the window for a moment. "I remember running after Wendi so many times in the rain. Rain makes her thing of mum and dad too, but in a different way I guess. I think rain reminds her of how lucky we are. How lucky we are that we're here." Jamison said solemnly. Wow, he did know how to make things seem somber, didn't he. Now, Jamison's mind was on his parents. He didn't like to think about them, but he just couldn't help it. Jamison decided to just lighten up. He looked at Meyghan. "So, hows Cleve?" He asked avoiding any deep conversation. Stop that. His mind told him. But, he just couldn't. He mouth just babbled. Jamison looked at Meyghan as he waited for her to respond.