How could it be true?? ((Sapphire))

[Meyghan Gallagher R7]

Meyghan wondered around the lake looking for the small swing in the giant oak where she had first met Dana. She needed to return to this spot for it was the spot where the friendship had begun to form. Meyghan had known that the day she met Dana that she had made a trusting and wonderful friend; but now all in a flash it seemed as if that part of her world had been blown up. She was just thinking that her world had become whole again when this happened. Meyghan wanted to be bitter but it wasn't in her personality to be that way. It wasn't a part of her. She was better at just denying everything and trying to make herself believe that everyone was lying to her about it all. She had done that for years; before she realized the truth about her mother. And now just as that part of her life was starting to piece its self back together, another had to be ripped to shreds.

Finding the swing, Meyghan placed the single blue rose that she had been carrying in the seat of the swing and sat in her usual spot between two large roots at the base of the front of the tree looking out over the lake. This is it. The exact time and place. I really did need to come here. Meyghan thought to herself. She knew that she needed to grieve and she obviously didn't know where to begin. She had dealt with Kris and Cleo moving away from school after the tragedy but she had yet to deal with the tragedy itself. She was so doubtful that she was ready too. Meyghan laid her head back against the trunk of the tree as she felt tears begin to feel her eyes. Closing her eyes only for a moment she could see the smiling face of the friend that she had lost not so long ago. Meyghan could do nothing more for the moment but continue to sit there with her eyes closed missing her friend.

((Wow, taking from personal experience is really going to help me a lot with this post. *huggles* thanks for agreeing to this))

[Sapphire Phoenix R7]

Sapphire liked the colour white. It wasn't like black, which was an absence of all colours. White was all colours mixed together, to create complete peace and harmony. Her life was still missing one of the colours that should have been mixed together to make white - because Dana was a colourful character who had added a great deal to her own life. But today Sapphire's mind felt white. It was a strange feeling. She supposed she could sink into being peaceful, apathetic, to just encompass all the pain, let it wash over her like the skipping waves at the edge of the sea in Spain had done at the end of last summer, with no numbing cold because that sea was warm; she wouldn't feel it at all even though it was still there. But it wasn't something she was going to do. She would remember always, forever - everything. She would cherish remembering the friend who had, maybe without intention, all but abandoned her now, reflect on everything Dana had done for her, and hold love and hate together, bittersweet, choking simultaneously with nostalgic happiness and sharp regret.

The white was still there in her mind though, a little puddle of calm in the middle of confusion. She splashed it everywhere for now, and took in the blue-grey sky where you couldn't distinguish between the intermingled cloud and clear heavens, the thickening carpet of browning leaves, the limp yellow still clinging to branches shuddering in the wind. A friend who was still here nestled between two huge roots. She had never been as close a friend as Dana, but then Sapphire hadn't felt the need for many other friends before her world of certainty was shattered. Not by Dana, but by those Death Eaters. It had only been Death Eaters, not Dana, and Sapphire knew that now. She still couldn't replace the person on the other end of the wand, but Sapphire knew the essence of the truth was not the visual memory. She still couldn't close her eyes and reliably call back another image of her friend than that one; she couldn't, like Meyghan, use a vivid memory as a fair way to reflect on things.

What did it matter if she was fair? Was it fair to Zara for her to be forever quiet, solemn, brooding? The two sisters cared for each other but Sapphire needed to care for herself too. Sapphire had come further towards that peace of mind where she could think and socialise just as she liked. Meyghan must be going through her own struggle. Sapphire should know that she had, but she hadn't really talked to her enough to do. It wasn't that she'd been anti-sociable or talking to anyone in particular any more than Meyghan, just that she didn't say as much as she'd used to to anyone. Sapphire's eyes fell on the blue rose being buffeted from one side to the other on the gently swaying swing. It would fall slowly over onto one petal with the motion of the swing, only to be blown back the other way and roll over again in the process. Sapphire brought out her wand unhurriedly and conjured another rose, this one white. She laid it directly next to the other rose, and together they both stayed stationary.

"I wish..." said Sapphire ponderously, almost unaware of having spoken. "I wish I could know the future and act in the past." She looked around her, her serious brown eyes searching. "What is there here worthy of carrying that wish?"

[Meyghan Gallagher R7]

Meyghan did not speak, although she noticed Sapphire approaching her. What reasons were there to speak, each of them already knew how the other was feeling, most likely because they were feeling the same as well. Meyghan kept her silence and did not want to open her eyes, but her mind would not let them stay closed for much longer. Meyghan wasn't whole and her body now knew it as well as her heart and mind. She was becoming restless, and she knew that wasn't always a good thing.

Meyghan had learned from experience that her becoming restless usually ended up with her hurt in some form or another, and her restless usually followed something that had severely hurt her. This was just such an occasion. Meyghan had been hurt, she wasn't sure why she had let it hurt her though. She thought she had become accustom to things and beings leaving her. But she had let her guard down. She had allowed herself to be open, and expressive with someone. With two someones actually, but at the time she wasn't thinking about the other person. That would come in time.

Looking over at the white rose that Sapphire conjured up and placed beside Meyghan's blue one, Meyghan was amazed at the two roses' simplicity. Such complex living things, but seeming so simple. After listening to Sapphire's wish Meyghan whispered, " I'm not sure that even the stars would be so worthy as to hold such a valuable wish." She said making sure not to speak too loudly and ruin the moment. Meyghan opened her big grey eyes to look at Sapphire. "I've been sitting here thinking of things that could have been done differently. Things that might have been said differently, but I can't think of any." Meyghan was beginning to feel the same vunerable feeling that she had carried for years after her mother's death. She kept thinking that there was something more she could have done. Meyghan couldn't easily find the logic in it all, and it was making her uneasy.

((sorry it's so crappy. It's what Meyghan was feeling. She's wanting to admit that she feels abandoned but isn't quite ready too.))