The Aesthetics of an Umbrella ((Open))

[Duncan M Wright G2]

He hated any and all physical activities. Hated. Loathed. Abhorred. He had work to be done, great work that would lead to great consequences, didn’t the world understand it? Work that would one day redeem this entire world? Oh why then did faiths conspire against him so! He would have far preferred to stay in, seated at his desk and focusing on the homework of his Mandarin owl-course (for even translation charms could be tampered with if you thought about it paranoily enough) rather than go tromping in the sun. But alas, the faiths did conspire and a proper gentleman would not allow a lady to walk outside unattended. So with deep and genuine heartfelt regret Duncan had got up, quickly smoothed down his tan suit bottoms and waistcoat over a green button up shirt, knotted a tie around his neck and carefully adjusted the white handkerchief to angle just so in his pocket before putting on carefully polished shoes and walking downstairs to allow his mother to apparate them to Diagon Alley.

As was his familial and gentlemanly duty Duncan dutifully escorted his mother towards the small art shop the owner of which was her friend and didn’t even groan when her mother kissed her cheek. Such was the privilege of a lady and Duncan was determined to not be anything but a consummate gentleman. After all, his mother did have plenty of power over him. He was only 13 after all. Tucking the galleons his mother passed to him along with the suggestion to run around and have some fun for two hours before meeting her at the Leaking Cauldron for late lunch before returning home, Duncan watched his mother walked up to the door of the art shop and disappear through the door with a colourful swirl of her skirts before turning and setting off himself. Well then. He was sure he could put this time to productive use, even if he was away from his desk. But no great man would be thwarted by something like that so he certainly wouldn’t be.

He could always go to the bookstore, except there was also something else he needed. His hero had an umbrella he took around with him. So brilliant Duncan thought. Unnoticeable enough to be befitting most any situation and yet far classier than any old cane. That was for old people. And that decided it. Ignoring the sun shining in the sky and his mother’s previous suggestion that he could get an ice cream Duncan set down Diagon Alley to buy an umbrella. Not that he was exactly sure where he could get a full length man’s umbrella that could as a walking stick as he had never before had a need to buy one, but he was a great man and great men did not get confused by such miniscule puzzles as those. But the clothes store seemed as good of a place to start as any. Pausing for a moment as a pair of children – wasn’t that one of the boys from Hufflepuff he had Transfiguration with? – dashed by, Duncan brushed an unexisting piece of lint from his waistcoat and snootily huffed after the children: “Unaesthetic.” One more straightening tug to the waistcoat and Duncan stepped into the store, nodding as grandly as he could to the clerk. “I am in requirement of an umbrella.”

[Chloe Reynolds H5]

In the past, shopping for school supplies had proven somewhat of an ordeal that they all just had to close their eyes and summon patience for and just suffer through. It hadn't been so bad when it was just Reagan at Hogwarts, Chloe assumed. Back then, Mum had just taken her oldest child to Diagon Alley and been back within three hours. Then Andrew had been accepted and there had been two young children and a whiny teenager to drag around the shops, because Chloe had decided that she wanted to tag along and Reagan was constantly trying to assert her independence even at the ripe old age of fourteen. In the end, tired of trying to accommodate the individual and plentiful demands from three children, Mum had agreed that anyone over the age of fifteen could do their own shopping, with the caveat that they'd just have to live with the consequences if they spent the last of their money on something frivolous and then didn't have enough galleons left to cover the cost of their textbooks or something. Despite the fact that they had all been provided with more than enough to cover the necessary expenses of school supplies and then some extra, Andrew had actually managed that once and subsequently spent the first two months at school stealing his best friend's Charms textbook until Mum finally relented and owned him one.

Of course, things were different now that she was the only one of her siblings still attending Hogwarts. If she waited, Mum would probably clear a day in her busy schedule to carry on the tradition of spending a day together shopping for school supplies but the house was empty, as it had been for two weeks straight now, and even Chloe had to admit that there was only so much time she could spend with her school friends. They had been shopping, gone on day trips, even spent two nights in the Reynolds' family apartment in France with the lie to her friends' parents that of course there would be parental supervision. She had even finished the majority of her summer homework because she had been so bored and lonely. The only thing left to do was to start going down the list of things she would need for her fifth year at Hogwarts. She could probably break it up into different sections and spread it over several days. Books one day, robes another, Potions ingredients a third, and so on.

Starting with robes had seemed a sensible decision, and one that Chloe was quite happy with. There were still a few weeks of summer left, but it didn't seem likely that she was going to have the growth spurt she so desperately longed for any time soon said she was gong to be stuck at her miserably short height then she ought to just accept it and move on. Madam Malkin's cheerful assertion that she hadn't grown more than an inch since last summer did nothing to lift her spirits but Twilfitt and Tattings would be soon rectify that. It was more sensible to buy school robes at Madam Malkin's, since the idea was that the robes would only be used for a year and then presumably a trident would have grown out of them by the following summer, whereas Twilfitt and Tattings was a bit more luxurious, with expensive dress robes, top hats and decorated Wizard's hats among some of their more popular merchandise. She had no need for dress robes but they also sold skirts and dresses that Chloe had absolutely no compunctions about buying if she saw something that caught her eye.

"I don't actually work here," Chloe corrected, amused, when a younger boy announced his 'requirement for an umbrella'. She had never heard anyone talk so pompously, and certainly not someone even younger than herself. Maybe he was practicing to be the next Minister of Magic or something. He was dressed really well though, if a tad bit formally for a day in Diagon. It certainly worked to make her extremely glad that she was wearing a pretty blue sundress, because she knew she would feel hideously uncomfortable and underdressed if she had to stand next to this waistcoated and suited young boy while wearing jeans. "The umbrellas are in the corner over there though. Bit of a strange time of year to be buying an umbrella though, isn't it? The summer's actually been alright this year."

[Duncan M Wright G2]

“Oh.” A lesser man would have flushed a bit at making such a mistake, but then Duncan was not a lesser ma. ’No sirree, My’ he thought fondly to himself, reassuring himself that he did not need to feel embarrassed and that he was simply warmed by the sun and that was why the tips of his ears were turning hot and getting a bit red. “My apologies, m’lady.” The last part came out as a slightly uncomfortable mutter. Mycroft Holmes would certainly call any member of the female species a lady in such a situation, but there was still some part of Duncan’s 13 years old body that protested at the thought of calling anyone a lady. Except maybe, you know, his mum. And the queen.

Glancing towards the corner where the girl pointed, Duncan nodded as graciously as he could and turned to head towards the stand, when the sudden realisation made him should out and e whirled around to face her again. Realising a bit belatedly that it was rude to point he quickly dropped his hand again, this was just yet another proof of Mycroft Holmes’ genius to have realised how easily using an umbrella to point would have prevented seeming rude, he beamed anyway. “Summer! Aha! I know what you’re doing. The populace of the British Isles, long may they stand, holds discussions on the topic of the weather in 78 per cent of the conversation and in 56 per cent of aforementioned cases it is brought up if there is nothing further to be said in the conversation. However my deductions, based on first, second and third hand experiments and observations to decree the percentage to be much higher.” Duncan could not hold back his smile, most pleased to have successfully deduced something such. Oh, his hero would be so proud of him one day as Duncan continued in his footsteps.

Remembering the rest of the girl’s words Duncan gathered himself and blinked owlishly at her. “Yes, but what does the average temperature of the summer concern the purchase of an umbrella?” Women, Duncan thought with a sigh and a wry shake of his head. Such a nonsensical breed they were with nary any knowledge of fashion and accessorising.

[Chloe Reynolds H5]

"Um." Who was this boy? First wanting an umbrella in the middle of summer and now calling her 'm'lady' like she was someone important! If he started bowing and produced a crown and announced that he was actually some form of royalty or something, Chloe was going to disappear so fast that he'd wonder if she could apparate already. This was ridiculous. "There's no need for that. My name's Chloe, just call me that. It's fine, honestly."

Chloe returned to eyeing up two skirts when the strange boy headed over in the direction of the umbrellas, figuring that the conversation was over now that he had what he wanted. Kayla would probably tell her to go for the white one, Chloe mused idly, but Kayla also had a darker complexion than she did. Chloe just looked like a tiny snowman when she wore white. The blue one would look nice though, and blondes usually suited shades of blue really well. Then the boy whirled around, speaking loudly, and Chloe yelped quietly in surprise, her left hand pressed against her heart. Merlin above, the kid was trying to kill her now. "Um." Chloe cast her eyes around the shop helplessly, trying to broadcast a desperate need for help. What was he going on about now? "Ye-es," she said slowly, starting to feel a bit out of her depth in dealing with this peculiar boy. "The weather is a popular topic of conversation, I suppose. That wasn't really what I was trying to do though."

Wasn't it obvious? The connection between good weather and the subsequent uselessness of an umbrella seemed perfectly obvious to her. If there was little to no rain, there was little to no point in buying a new umbrella. "Well, it's not raining a lot," Chloe began cautiously, with the clear sense that this boy thought himself somehow better than herself, despite the fact that she was older than him and a lot of children associated age with knowledge even if that wasn't always precisely true. It was cute, in a way, but only because he was young. He wouldn't be able to get away with this sort of behaviour in even a year or two, and perhaps not even now if he tried it with someone less tolerant than herself. "So you don't really need an umbrella, right? Unless you're buying it in advance, I suppose. It does rain a fair bit in autumn."