Your Move ((Payton))

[jillian]

Jill watched Payton's move after he spoke what he thought. Sometimes that was what bothered her about Joann though. She didn't think ahead, not even to next week. She just didn't. They would be low on food, and Joann wouldn't do anything about it until there was only a piece of cheese in the refrigerator. Joann just didn't like being responsible, that was completely obvious to anyone - which was why when Jill had first moved in, she knew she would have to do some growing up...far more than she had when she was living with her Aunt.

“Yeah, she’s something alright. But she doesn’t seem to know when to grow up and be responsible. That’s what makes it so hard to live with her. She’s an adult and she acts as if she’s thirteen. It’s tiring after awhile, but I’m not with her most of the time and when I am I missed her so much I don’t care.” Jill smiled at Payton and looked down at her hands, now she sounded as if she didn’t love Joann but she did. Joann just needed to grow up some and stop leaving Jill with all the responsibility that she shouldn’t have to handle. Jill sighed and looked back up at Payton, that smile never faltering; “I don’t know…sometimes it’s so annoying how she sticks me with everything. As if I were the thirty year old and she the seventeen year old.”

With that little bit of anger, Jill moved her piece and took his again. The flare of anger she felt toward Joann slowly dispersed to disappointment in the woman. But that wouldn’t stay long either. Jill could never feel anything negative toward Joann for to long. It just wasn’t possible for her to do. Not toward someone who had taken care of her as if she was her own daughter for most of her childhood. How could you hate someone like that?

[payton]

He listened to her talk about Joann, and nodded in at least slight understanding. He didn't have any idea what she was going through exactly, or what she had been through in her past, but he did at least know what it was like to feel responsible for someone. For Jill it was Joann, and she shouldn't have to play the mature one in that relationship. For him it was Dillion--who at age seventeen still ran into walls when he got excited, and needed his school books found and reminded to go to class on a daily basis.
"Its hard I guess, loving everything about someone, but still sometimes wishing that they could just take care of themselves...so you don't have to try to watch over them and yourself."
He smiled at her and shrugged, glancing down at the board for a moment and watching her take his piece, though he didn't react to it other than that. Instead he just looked up at her and smiled. "Dillion, thats how I at least...sort of understand. I know yours is harder, I mean, at least I have Pops, and at least Dill has the excuse of still being young...but...I at least get the fact that you can love them, and love the fact that they are different and don't care what others think, and still just...be exhausted from having to tie up their loose ends."

[jillian]

Jill smiled knowingly and leaned back in her chair, watching Payton. When he finished she shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. "Yeah, there are many times where I wish she would just....grow up; but then I think about it and if she did grow up she just wouldn't be Joann. I suppose that's how it is with Dillion? Can you see him with a job, a house, a wife, a couple of kids and a dog? It's really hard to picture Joann married with kids and a dog. They would drive her absolutely nutters. But I know Joann makes a good mother, as long as the child comes to her at the age of eleven."

Jill didn't know how Joann handled younger children, she had never seen Joann around children. Even when Joann had took Jill in, Jill was almost an adult with how much growing up she had done. Joann needed the support, and Jill was more than willing to give it to her - after all, Jill liked to take care of people, but she needed love as well. Joann gave her that, but Jill was still the adult and she still the teenager. Of course it was a good thing that Joann wasn't one of those rowdy teenagers, she was just a teenager who hated responsibility. Jill knew there was a reason behind that, something to do with her mother, but she had never been told the story so she had never asked to hear it.

"I don't care what others think, and I know what they think. People talk about her, a lot. They say she needs to grow up and take care of me. That I should be the one enjoying my youth and she should be the one making sure there's food in the refrigerator. But they don't know anything. First, they assume I'm there all year round. Well, obviously I'm not. Second, they think I mind doing all of this. Which I don't! I love Joann so much that I don't even think of minding it...it's just something I owe her for taking me in when I needed it most. Third, they assume Joann is irresponisible all the time. When, I remember, one time I was really ill and I had a fever of 101 or something, and she didn't freak out...she knew exactly what to do. Joann was really calm under pressure and that's not only responsibility but bravery. People just don't see how great a person is..."

[payton]

Grinning as she mentioned Dillion and any sort of normal things that happen as one grows up he shook his head. It was near impossible to ever think of Dillion as anything other than what he was. "I can't even imagine Dillion acting his own age. I don't think I will ever be able to think of him having a wife and a job. I mean...I'm sure he will some day, out of necessity for the job, someone has to think hiring a full grown child is a good idea...and as for the wife, I just hope someday he can see whats standing right in front of him."

He shrugged and glanced down at the board, trying to take his mind off of Dillion. He knew he needed to stop worrying about his brother. Sooner than he really wanted they would be on separate sides of the continent, and then worry would no longer do him any good. He looked back up at Jill as she started to explain again. After she finished he smiled at her softly. "I guess people are like that sometimes. They like to talk, and always think things should be different or better, even when they don't understand." He shrugged again, and then, by force of habit, pulled out his wand. Not really having an purpose to do so he mumbled the quick charm to use it to move one of his pieces across the board, and finished by making is sparkle. Before the Hogsmead attack, where he forgot most of the charms he had memorized, he used them all the time. There didn't need to be a purpose or reason, but somehow a silly little charm always made things seem better or easier.

[jillian]

"Right in front of him, Payton?" She asked with an inquistive eyebrow raised. Surely Payton didn't think his brother could find love at such a young age, especially if love even existed at all. Maybe she sounded a bit bitter - but it was what she felt in her heart. She didn't feel like love and romance and that prince charming coming by to sweep the beautiful princess of her slippered feet was actually real. No, reality was much more harsh. Maybe she was bitter, but would anyone blame her? The romance she had waited for for years never came and she became darker and broodier than ever because of it. She had spent some of her years pretending that she was locked away in a castle, waiting for that one and only to come for her - but he never did. Ever. She spent the rest of her teen years listening to jazz songs such as Fever by Peggy Lee, and Teardrops From My Eyes by Ruth Brown. She found she loved the jazz records and they spoke all the words she wished she could.

As far as Jill believing there was still a chance for her to meet the one and fall deeply and madly in love, there was none. She didn't believe in that nonsense anymore. In fact, many guys she had met made her want to scream and tear her hair out of her head. She steered clear of most guys, and the few she had spoken with either had that effect on her or she figured were too....weird for her liking. Her prince charming was something she was sure no one could live up to. Sweet, caring, had a sense of humor, and someone who understood if she ever had to run off to deal with Joann. Someone who didn't care if she didn't do her make-up or put up her hair, someone who saw her for herself, and someone who swept her off her feet. But not with lines or with too much charm, but with genuine uniqueness and liveliness; things that didn't come in many guys.

Jill lightly shook herself from her reverie, mentally chastising herself for going back into her old dreams and wistful wishes. She came back to see Payton charming the chess board till it sparkled. He was very good with charms, but something told her he had once been better. She didn't ask him about it, not wanting to pry into anything. Of course she had heard things in the corridors going from class to class or in the girls washrooms. Things about the Diagon Alley attack, and him getting very hurt. But...still, that wasn't any of her business and she wouldn't ask unless he told. She smiled a calm smile and looked at him; "You're really very good with that wand." She complimented before moving her piece by hand, "My pieces don't sparkle as yours do, but..." She sat back and watched as her knight destroyed his piece, "the sparkle on their own." She grinned and swept the pieces to the side of the chess board.

"What bothers me the most though," Jill said, referring to what he said about people not understanding, "is that they couldn't care enough to try to understand. I don't know. That's how it is here too...and really it does bother me sometimes, but I shrug it off and go my way. I'm going to be out of here at the end of this year anyway. The world, both muggle and wizarding, seems to thrive on gossip purely. And that bothers me. Really, it does." She sighed and leaned back in her chair, letting her head fall on the back of it and closing her eyes a bit, "But you're right. People just don't understand."

[payton]

When she repeated his question he took his eyes off the chess board, which he had charmed to sparkle as little gold stars came and went in the air about the pieces. He watched her for a moment, picking up a very specific tone in her voice--a certain skepticism for his words. After a moment he smiled softly. He understood her bitterness. Her life had been so harder than his, she hadn't been surrounded by as many loving people as he had. "I'm guessing that you don't know the whole story...but there is a girl, who is perfect for Dillion, the only girl I can ever imagine him with. I'm also guessing though, by the way you sounded just now, that you don't believe in things like that." He smiled again, that same soft smile. He believed he always had. He had even fallen in love himself, even if he was young, and perhaps things didn't work out quite as he had hoped. He still had hope though, and found it almost painfully sad that she did not. "Some day though, probably when you aren't expecting it , some guy will walk up to you and your life will never the the same."

He glanced down at the board again, watching her piece smash his a few seconds later. "If I make yours sparkle too will you be a little less destructive of my pieces?" He grinned at her before using his wand again to make her pieces sparkle like his. After a moment he shrugged, and let the topic be serious again. He was never and good at being serious and melancholy, but he was getting better at it. "It takes time and energy to understand others, and most people don't have enough of that to completely understand themselves."

[jillian]

"I'm afraid I don't get out much, so I wouldn't know the whole story." She told him with a smile. Which was...actually pretty true. What she heard in the corridors she ignored as much as she could. Gossip wasn't something that Jill took joy in participating in. It was ruthless and cold and could be very cruel if something resulted from it; and something almost always did. When he called her out on her skepticism, she smiled and tilted her head to the right a little and opening both eyes. With a shrug she answered; "Let's just say, sitting in my bed at night, waiting and wishing for my prince charming to come, got kind of old after awhile." She looked at the chess board a moment before looking back up at him; "I used to. I was a hopeless romantic, still am in a way I guess. I'm always expecting something to let down my guard and take my attention away from things that should get them."

Jill sighed for a moment then looked straight at Payton; "Always used to imagine that I'd fall in love some day, get married, have a couple of kids maybe a dog and a cat; possibly a fish. We'd live in this house, but it wouldn't be too big nor too small. Probably somewhere near London. And it'd be perfect." She paused for moment, breaking her gaze and leaning further into her chair, "But what is perfect anymore? Nobody can define it. It's all opinion. And who wants to be perfect, anyway? It's too much...responsibility." When he remarked about her life changing when some guy came into her life, she couldn't help but smile and shake her head clearly showing she didn't believe him as much as she would have wanted to.

"I doubt that would happen. A guy approaching me is like a guy approaching...something they really don't like. I don't know what guys hate, but if you can think of something you truly despise then that's me in their eyes...well most of their eyes. I'm sure you didn't see me as something you hate when you asked me for a game of chess, but that just means you're decent. But, again, it's doubtful. I mean...even if it did happen, I'd probably want nothing to do with them anyway. I have more important goals in my mind and it doesn't include someone sweeping me off my feet only to dump me back on the ground ten minutes later." Jill said this so matter of factly, the tone of her voice frightened her and reminded her of her aunt. But in some small way she was satisfied with her response.

"If I make yours sparkle too will you be a little less destructive of my pieces?" He asked with a grin, and then made her pieces sparkle as well. Jill laughed lightly and said; "I guess I don't have too much say in it. But yes, I'll go a little bit easier on your pieces. After all, they haven't done anything to me have they?" She tucked some of her hair behind her ear and made her next move, she didn't take any of his pieces but she was certain if she had that she wouldn't have let it get shattered into tinier pieces. When he made his comment about time and energy to understand, Jill smiled; "Yeah, well, people spend too much time and energy on themselves and not enough on other people."

[payton]

He shrugged when she said that she hadn't heard of his brother and a fellow Hufflepuff, Jordan. He didn't think she had. She didn't seem the type to stay up on the gossip that some girls seemed to thrive off of. He also had a feeling that if she didn't care about romance for herself, then she wouldn't care about it in others. Only catch to that was that Dillion and Jordan were not exactly in that romantic stage yet...they would probably never be in that stage. He could hardly imagine Dillion going off to buy Jordan a dozen roses. He still wanted to give her fireworks for everything.

As she told him about how she use to be a hopeless romantic, until it got old waiting around for something to happen he smiled softly. "Just because you've stopped waiting doesn't mean it wont catch up with you anyway." He paused for a moment, listening to her describe the perfect life she had once imagined. "Perfection is a matter of opinion, your right, but then if in your opinion its perfect, then thats what you should reach for. And that life of yours...it does sound pretty amazing." He leaned back in his chair and moved one of his open pieces hardly taking his eyes off Jill to do so. She seemed to rather enjoy smashing his pieces to bits, and he had to keep moving in order to let her do so. He laughed slightly when she started talking about a guy coming up to her, and a bit more so when she called him decent. "So I'm decent? I have a feeling you saying that about a guy is a rather big compliment. Anyway though, I don't believe you. While approaching you I never once pictured things that I hated and I can't see how any guy would have, even if you think you wouldn't do anything with them. Sometimes even if thats our intent..life just sort of runs away with you and even before you realize whats happening your telling your life story to a complete stranger and your giving them more of your attention that you have given anyone in a long time." He grinned for a moment before leaning forward and lifting one of his hands to curl his finger to ask her to lean in a bit towards him. "I'll share a secret with you--any decent guy wouldn't dump a girl like you on the ground. Not in in 10 minutes or 10 months or any other division of time you want to use."