Time To Act Happy ((anyone))

[Fiona O'Reilly S5]

Fiona listened to what Kennedy was saying. She didn't care if he was being selfish. She didn't want to be alone and she didn't want Kennedy to think she hated him. She didn't. He had just sat through her tears. He had been there for her the entire night, when she didn't really feel like being there. Even if he was being selfish he was being nice at the same time. She wanted him to know that. She wanted to tell him that she appreciated everything he was doing for her, but she couldn't find the words. She looked into his eyes as he turned back to her and muttered the words, I'm sorry. He was going to leave her there, by herself. She couldn't find her voice, but she could move.

Fiona launched herself up and grabbed his hand. She didn't want him to leave her. She felt drawn to him and though she didn't know why, but his presence was comforting. She felt accepted by him and that was something that meant more to her than showing her weakness. "Please, Kennedy, don't leave me alone. I don't care if you think you're being selfish, because I don't feel like you are. You just stayed with me while I was screaming and crying. That means so much to me," Fiona whispered as she looked down at his hand, which she was still holding on to. She didn't really know what else to say, but she felt she had to continue on. She felt she needed to explain why she wanted him to stay. She didn't know why, but there was definitely something there.

"Kennedy, I don't want to be alone right now. I need someone I can trust to stay with me and though we really haven't talked before this, I feel safe with you. I feel calm. I haven't felt like this in a long time and I don't know why I feel it with you, but that's something I don't want to let go of right now. Please, Kennedy, stay with me. I don't care where we go, I just don't want to be alone. I don't want to feel abandoned," Fiona pleaded. She didn't know if Kennedy would stay with her. She knew that sometimes her own pride would get her to cut off her nose to spite her face, but she didn't know if Kennedy was the same way. She hoped he would stay. She wanted him to stay. She looked up into his eyes and waited for his response.

[Kennedy Valak S6]

Just as he was about to go, Kennedy felt Fiona grab his hand. She sounded desperate, and he hated to see her hurting so badly. At the same time, he knew that there was really nothing he could do about it. The events that she had described sounded so horrifying, and he knew that they must be eating deep into her heart. She had to be lonely, and she was right. She just needed somebody to be there with her.

"Look Fiona," Kennedy said as he lifted her chin and forced eye-contact. "I know that right now in your life you really need somebody. I know that you are hurting so badly inside. I just don't know if that somebody you need is me. Sure I can be here for you, but I don't know if I can really be here for you in the way that you need someone. I'm a mess myself Fiona. Granted it seems that you have it a lot worse, but I just feel like I would do more harm than good right now. Especially if you are leaning on me for help. I don't even know who I am." A single tear ran down Kennedy's cheek. He wanted so badly to help Fiona. It pained him to see another person feeling worse than he was because he knew how much hurt he was feeling at the moment. How could someone bear more than that? But she needed him. Whether or not he could provide exactly what she needed, he was obligated to help in any way that he could. Even if it just meant staying with her for this moment.

Putting his arms around Fiona, Kennedy hugged her tightly. "I guess that even though I don't know exactly what to do to help you, I can stay here with you for as long as you need me. If being a friend is all I can do to help at the moment, then I will be the best friend you could need," he said, forcing a smile. Using the sleeve of his shirt, Kennedy dried Fiona's tears from her cheeks and whispered, "It will all be okay in the end... don't you worry."

[Fiona O'Reilly S5]

Fiona bit her bottom lip as she listened to what Kennedy was saying. She did agree with him, but some times she just didn't want to be alone. However, he said he would be there for her if she ever needed it. He would be there for her now. Fiona's thoughts were quickly moved to something her father had told her once: Weakness of character is called emotion. Don't let anyone ever see you hurting... Fiona suddenly pushed her tears away and her pain was forced back down into the bottle that had been keeping them thus far. She felt Kennedy wipe away her tears. He was being so kind to her and suddenly she wondered if that was one of his weaknesses, obviously to some extent it was. Fiona knew that she was only changing like this because she didn't want to burden Kennedy. She didn't want him to stay with her if he didn't want to. If he wanted to leave he would be able to.

Fiona folded back into herself as she kept eye contact with Kennedy. Her eyes slowly hardened, though not nearly as much as she wanted them to. "If you don't want to stay by all means leave. And just for your information, I do not worry. I know things will work out in the end, they always do. Look we can be friends, but don't think you'll see something like that again. I'm not weak. I just let things get the better of me today and that in itself is some what weak, but I've caught it now and it won't continue," Fiona said. The words left her mouth and she knew that they were harsh. After all the boy had been through that night by listening to her crap, she had to be ungrateful to him in the end. She wasn't really, she just didn't know what else to say. I mean what do you say, 'Thanks for sticking around to what my face swell with tears.' It was just something Fiona had never really dealt with, other than with Rosaliz. However, Fiona wasn't going to let that thought enter her mind at the moment.

"Look Kennedy," Fiona started, "I don't mean to be rude at all, it's just how I am. I thank you for staying by my side tonight. I've just come to terms with some things in my head and I don't want you to have to deal with me any longer. I bet you didn't have any of this in mind when you decided to ask me to the dance. I should have warned you then and I didn't. Sorry. The thing is Kennedy. I don't know if I can handle someone right now. As you said about yourself. I'm a mess. I don't want to be with anyone. When I said that earlier, it wasn't meant to be with you. I wanted company at the moment, but now I think I've been cured. I think you helped cure me of my weakness. Thanks Kennedy, but if you want to leave you are more than welcome to do so." Fiona just stood staring into his eyes. She had no idea if he would leave or not. She didn't know what she wanted him to do either. She was a mess for real at the moment. Her mind was going every which way.

[Kennedy Valak S6]

Kennedy bit his tongue as he watched Fiona make a drastic change in emotion right before his eyes. She suddenly seemed cold and reserved. It was if she was drawing back from him, for fear of herself being viewed as weak. It angered him slightly to have her pretend all the sudden that things were fine and that she didn't seem to need or want him around. Hadn't he just sacrificed himself and his time to at least try and help her, or was he really being selfish, thinking that she actually might need him. Either way, thoughts of confusion streamed through his mind as he tried to create a reply. It would have been easier just to listen to Fiona and leave without saying anything, but he felt he needed to at least try and settle things. Tonight had been an odd mix of varying emotions and relations between the two of them.

"Ummm.. Fiona, listen, I know that tonight has been an awkward experience for the both of us. We were both somewhat relieved to have found somebody we thought we could easily relate to, and for a while, we really opened up to each other. I know I'm not perfect, and I know you are going through so much that I don't feel adequate enough to help you through this tough time. I'll tell you this though, I can try my hardest to be whatever you need whether it be a friend, a listener, or just somebody to encourage you, but if you are going to close yourself to me and try to mask your weakness at this point, then I won't be able to do anything for you and I might as well leave." He stopped, realizing he was almost turning hurtful in a way. Sometimes the truth hurts though. "So if you are going to worry about what I or others think about you, go ahead and continue hiding your weakness from the world, but it won't make it go away. You don't have to be ashamed of weakness because nobody is perfect. I don't care what people think, deep down, everyone has a weakness, and the only way to make it stronger is to get it out and fix it. Don't hide it."

For a second, Kennedy felt like he was preaching to himself. What he was saying held so much truth that he was even trying to escape. Maybe after all, this was what he needed. If Fiona hadn't gained anything from it, at least he had. Again, he felt his selfishness rising. Looking back to Fiona, he opened his mouth once more, "So it's your call Fiona. I will stay and provide what help I can, but if you are not willing to accept that everyone has flaws, including yourself, then I will best be on my way." The last syllable echoed in the silence of the dark night.

[Fiona O'Reilly S5]

Fiona stood rooted in her spot. She didn't know how to respond to Kennedy's ultimatum. She wasn't even sure if she understood everything he had just said to her. He was supposed to be a Slytherin. He was supposed to understand what being one meant. He should never have let her go off the way she had. She was weak. She was no better than any Gryffindor mudblood. She was pawn scum. Nothing she did could make up for that. She was determined to be a complete and utter weakling for the rest of her days. She turned her head from Kennedy. He could tell everyone if he wanted to. Fiona knew that Kennedy could tell all of her friends and their house that she was weak. That she cried in front of him and not just cried, bawled. She knew that he could, but she didn't know if he would. Would he tell them all what she said? Would he laugh about it later with his best buds? Fiona felt the chill down her spine. She couldn't let Kennedy tell everyone about her weakness. She turned to look him in the eye again.

"You think that saying that will make me open back up to you? How can I even trust you? I hardly know you. It was my foolishness that got me into this mess. Surely you understand what it's like to be in pain? So then why would you ask me to open back up and admit to you that I'm weak. My parents are dead, what do you expect? I'm going to weak, until I take my revenge on those mudblood loving freaks! I will not let my weakness take advantage of me again, Kennedy. And I will not, WILL NOT, let you see me weak again! I don't care if we opened up to each other earlier. I don't care if I'm hiding it. It can't be fixed without revenge. And tell me Kennedy what is your weakness? You say to let it out to tell the world. So go on Kennedy, tell me, what is your biggest weakness?" Fiona asked him intently. Her eyes were flared. She knew that if there had been light that her eyes would have been on fire. She was so enraged by Kennedy's last comment, but that didn't matter right now. She wanted to know his weakness, before she sent him away. She wanted to know what drove poor little Kennedy into hysterics. She wanted to know, but perhaps more, she wanted to know if he would tell her.