Reading on the Train (Sethia)

[payton]

The train to and from Hogwarts was always total chaos. When going to the school, it was the rush of finding your old school friends, and the excitement of a new year which added to the nerves of the firsties unsure of everything. This train though was the one which marked the end of their year, and other than weekends in Hogsmead working at the Cubby, it marked the end of his days in the magical world over the upcoming months. It always saddened him slightly to walk away from magic, which had now become such an important part of his life, but it would be nice to go home and see his family again. Before his Hogwarts letter, he was never away from them for more than a day or two, and it still seemed strange to not see his brothers and sisters for months on end; especially Wesley, who now just over two years old seemed to be a completely different person every time he came back home.

After boarding the train he looked down the long row of compartments, watching his fellow students appear and disappear through the doors. He had been followed aboard by Dillion, who disappeared the moment they were on – probably from spotting Jordan and running off after her to cause some sort of disaster. As he glanced down the row again he caught a quick glimpse of Rowen, who soon disappeared inside one of the compartments, probably to sulk about the fact he had to go back to the Moore home. Payton liked the boy well enough, but he did make it hard to fit in with the family most of the time. The Moore’s in general were pretty happy-go-lucky, and Rowen, even if he had been put in Hufflepuff, was nothing like that. After realizing he had probably stood, blocking the way for far too long, he began to make his way forward, look in the crowd for a familiar face, but he couldn’t make out anyone other than students who seemed to young to be anything but firsties. Shrugging it off he glanced inside a few compartments until he found one that lay empty and decided to claim it for his own and let someone find him instead. As he pulled his trunk in after him, he let it rest in the middle of the compartment, as he let his weight sink down into one of the benches, his feet coming up to rest on it. For a moment he just leaned back, taking a deep breath and letting his eyes closed as he wrapped his mind around what a crazy year it had been at Hogwarts. It seemed like by the time his mind was working properly enough to focus again the year was over. After resting there for a moment, he let his eyes drift open, and he tilted his head back up, reaching forward to his trunk he pulled an advanced charms book from inside. After settling himself back down, his feet placed back up on his trunk he opened his book to a second he had marked. Charms was always his version of light reading, and as he leaned back, no longer watching the door.

[sethia]

She must have stood outside the entrance to the Hogwarts Express for what seemed liked forever, unable to make herself get onto the train. It had been too short a time back at school; she had come to put the final touches on her return to Hogwarts for the coming fall. She had wondered if it would still be the same? She had feared not. Things never stayed the same and Hogwarts was no exception, the school and those within it, had certainly moved on with their lives leaving her somewhere in the confused past. How was she going to handle it being back in fall? Making matters worse, it was her last year at the institution and moulded her into who she was now. She remembered when she first arrived at Hogwarts; she was the shy wallflower no one noticed, who hardly spoke, but somehow made one friend. She was gone now, Sethia had ceased to be that shy a long time ago and she had managed to find someone special in the mix.

“Oh, get yourself together,” she told herself under her breath before climbing the steps and boarding the train leaving the clamour of her fellow students behind her. It was almost like going to Hogwarts for the first time. She remembered it so clearly, the Hogwarts Express; gleaming and bright with a flood of screaming students and teary eyed parents surrounding it. She recalled weaving through the tiny first years; some of them scared while others excited, and she on the hand of her Minstry guide. She had been amongst the first set when she arrived, the frightened ones. She had walked slowly down the platform, pushing her trunk on the trolley in front of her, as if what she was doing would have been the most normal thing in the world to someone who wasn’t a wizard. She smiled at the memory, but this wasn't her first year, it was her last and after this year her life would change forever. She was halfway up the steps when she saw something that made her stop. Was it him? It was just a flash, a glimmer of red hair, but she thought it might have been him, but he was gone to quickly to tell. Whether it was, or wasn’t him didn’t matter, she would see him soon enough, but perhaps not soon enough.

A few minutes later she was onboard tugging her trunk, which had more things in it than she’d left at home in Yorkshire. It was her last year at Hogwarts, but it also marked the beginning of her new life. She wasn’t going back to Yorkshire once she graduated; instead she was going onto a reputable university that somehow thought she was good enough to accept, if she passed her NEWTS. Her charm bracelet chimed with every tug she made, yes she still wore it, even though she wasn’t sure there was a reason to anymore. Young love never did last very long in most cases, and it was made even harder when one of the people involved is far away for a very long time, as had been the case for her. No matter what, the bracelet and each charm would remind her of some of the most special times in her life. She would never forget.

Compartment after compartment, her hopes of finding a seat were dashed. “Isn’t there a single free spot on this train?” she asked herself as she sighed and dropped the trunk to the ground with a loud thud. A group of girls; maybe two years younger than she was passed laughing and chatting together as if she wasn’t there. Another thing that hadn’t changed, she was still not one of the popular people, but that really didn’t’ bother her anymore; she rather liked being the country bumpkin. Just as she had psyched herself up for another attempt at finding a place to sit when the leader of the pack came back and tapped her on her shoulder to tell her there was a free compartment two doors up. To say Sethia was stunned was an understatement, but somehow she managed to thank her before she ran after her friends and Sethia returned to hauling her trunk.

“One…two…” she counted out loud before pulling the door opened and backing into the compartment. Once her trunk was in she dropped the trunk on the floor and closed the door, before flopping down on the seat beside it. She sighed and ran a hand through her wild blonde hair, her eyes closed as she leaned back. She sat there for only a few seconds before opened her eyes and having her jaw drop open at who she saw sitting across from her. she stared at him in silence for several seconds, her mouth an open door to any stray fly, before she closed it and a small smiled crept over her face. “Hello Payton,” she said softly.

[payton]

Payton flipped casually though the section about enchanting objects with specific moments, skimming through parts that he knew he was already familiar on, and spending more time on those he had yet to master. He had come to one of those illusive movements when he heard someone coming into the compartment. Normally he would have looked right up and greeted them, but since the August before and the attack on Diagon Alley he needed to finish his sentence before he could break his focus or else he would have to start from the beginning. While he kept his attention firmly on the cook he was reading, he could head that the person who had entered the compartment drop down into the seat opposite from his own, though they said nothing. At the time he subconsciously registered it as simply someone who knew he needed to finish, or perhaps someone he didn't know, but what he wasn't expecting was the split second later when he heard them say hello. The voice, and the way she said his name hit a familiar cord in him and suddenly he didn't care where he was in the sentence, or the section or even the book. At first he simply glanced over the pages, feeling that he had to have been insane, but instead in front of him say the same blonde haired girl he hadn't seen in nearly a year now. It was an understatement to say that the Moore brothers had their own little way with words, but now he found himself at a loss for them, and instead he say in silent, easing his book down as he tried to take in the situation. After what seemed like an eternity and a moment all at once, a smile crept across his face. "Would it be silly of me to say that part of me feared I would never see you again?"

[sethia]

She wasn’t sure how he was going to react, and her stomach tightened as her heart raced waiting to her something, anything from him. Would he have just recognised her voice? He should have, it hadn’t been that long that he could forget her so, but then again, you can never be sure of anything. Please don’t let him have forgotten me. She prayed to herself as his eyes left his book and slowly raised towards her. She still held her smile, small and nervous but still apparent on her face.

They sat in silence facing each other, the world coming to a halt as they did so. It seemed a thousand years went by before Payton said anything. Finally, when he spoke she felt the tension in her stomach disappear as she gave a nervous laugh. “No it wouldn’t be. I was afraid of that too,” she admitted. There was so much to tell, to explain, but where to start, or how to start.

She had left school at the end of her fifth year after aunt’s accident. Hetty survived, but her recovery was arduous and complicated, and with a farm to run there was no choice in the matter, Sethia had to come home or else lose it. It was hard for her to do, to leave school, a place where she finally felt comfortable and as if she belonged and where she actually had some friends, not many but good ones. The hardest part of course, was leaving Payton behind. Her new role on the farm made visits practically impossible, there was no time for fun or relaxation in her day, just work, work, and work. Farming was not meant for one person, but after all the money spent on Hetty’s hospital bills and recovery, there was nothing left to higher temporary hands to help out. Sethia had done it all herself for almost a year, and it had changed her some. She was no more mature and responsible than ever before.

Sethia was never a wordy person, more an emotional one and at that moment even if she had been skilled with words they would have failed her. It was so good to see Payton, words could not describe it. She looked from his face to her lap tentatively, wondering what she should say. Payton I’m sorry I didn’t write as I should have. I’m sorry I left us up in the air. I’m sorry you made the wrong choice in a girlfriend. Everything she could think to say sounded more and more pathetic.

“How are you?” there, that was a logical, though mundane question that was complete opposite to the truth of what she wanted to say, but at least it was a start.

[payton]

Despite the fact that he had imagined what it would be like to see Sethia again, everything seemed so strange with its odd familiarity and past emotions which surrounded them. He was glad that she spoke again, because words still failed him. When she asked him now he was, he paused for a moment, thinking over everything that had happened since he had seen here again. Over all, life was good, but then to him, life was always good. "I'm good...really good" seemed to be the only thing that would manage its way out, and even that was followed by a pause. Finally, realizing he was staring forward at her, he shook his head, flashing Sethia one of his bright, easy going smiles he always managed no matter what the situation. "How about you?" After he said it, he knew that it wasn't the most original question he could have asked, but it seemed natural. After all, it seemed like he was getting to know her all over again.

Despite the act that everything seemed new and a bit awkward, he managed to let out a sigh, the smile still on his face. If it had been anyone else it would have been easy. He was great with new people, and for the most part he was great with old friends as well, but somehow Sethia was different. Maybe it was the fact that when they were together, emotions were to strong between them, and their distance provided only complications. It wasn't that he hadn't understood. He did understand, and he didn't blame Sethia for any of it--but even that did not help him when she first left, and it had taken him a long time to fully get over the fact she was gone, and he had only just started to move on it seemed.

[sethia]

The ice was broken at least, that was something she could be thankful for. She’d wondered how it would have been at their first meeting again; nervous, uneasy or would it be normal, casual and relaxed? She had her answer now. Then again, what did she expect from Payton? He had always been so comfortable and laidback, she couldn’t think of one instance where he had been nervous or apprehensive. Even the day they met, he had spoken to her as if he’d known her from before and this was just old friends meeting. She on the other hand had been shy and nervous speaking to the popular boy and wondering why he was speaking to her. She wasn’t how she had gotten over that. He had made her feel so comfortable, as if she was normal, even though she didn’t feel it. She wished that was how she felt now, but things weren’t as they were then. They were strangers then, with nothing between them, but now they had a past together and that made everything more complicated.

“I’m wonderful,” she said smiling, and tucking her hair behind her ears. “Aunt Hetty’s all better, and the farm’s doing well. We had a really good year and were able to hire to guys to help out. She still can’t do any heavy lifting, so they do all that for her,” she expounded. “I’m glad everything’s going so well for you. How’s your family, Dillion and everyone?” She asked politely. She crossed her legs as she spoke, trying to make herself more comfortable but failing. She was wearing blue jeans, brown boots and a brown peasant top. It was interesting how her wardrobe style had changed since she’d been gone. She would change into her robes later, but for now, there was nothing that could get her to leave that compartment. This was her first chance to be near Payton, to talk to him or even see him in so long, she wasn’t about to get up and leave now. Their conversation was the usual things people asked when they really didn’t know what to say, but at least they were talking.

He was smiling that Payton smile, all she needed now was for him to raise that eyebrow of his at her and she thought she’d turn into the Cheshire cat, grinning back at him. She still felt badly for leaving him, even though he’d been so understanding. She was sorry she hadn’t written as she should have, but time was so limited. She hoped he understood. She looked away from him towards the door as a group of rather loud students passed by, she wasn’t really interested in what they were doing but it made it easier on her to not stare at Payton as she was. Again her hand rose to her hair and tucked, the already tucked strands, behind her ear, the charms on her bracelet chiming.

[payton]

His smile grew wider when Sethia said that she was wonderful. He was truly happy that her life was working itself out. He knew that the past year and the months leading up it had been hard on Sethia, and trying to balance her duties at home and school, and then the pressure he added to her life. As she spoke he kept his attention focus on her, her voice and her mentioning the farm and her family brining back memories of the past when they would talk about their home life for hours. Whens he was done she asked him how his family was, and he shrugged slightly, thinking back if anything had changed over the past year. "The family is great, but then you met them, they are always great. Logan's up next for captain for his Uni team, Caitlin is getting to write a weekly article for the paper...everyone else is still plugging along with school really. Dillion is...well Dillion. I don't think he will ever be anything other than. I can't even being to imagine what he is going to do after Hogwarts--all he does now is follow Jordan around and set off fireworks." He paused for a moment, shaking his head as he thought about his brother. "The only big change has been Rowen...not sure if you know about him really. He is the foster wizard Pops and Mum N. are trying to adopt. He's a good kid, but a far cry from the rest of the Moore's when it comes to personality." Still grinning as he thought of his family he shrugged. It was just easier to life with the Moore's if you wanted to understand them.

After he had answered he leaned back further in his seat, tipping his head to the side as he watched Sethia, still trying to take everything in. She looked away from him for a moment, and when she did she lifted a hand to push her hair away from her face. When she did a soft metal chime sounded and a gleam of metallic caught his eye. Immediately Payton leaned forward, his eyebrows raising. "No...it can't be...." He eyed Sethia for a moment, his eyebrows still raised as they always were when his mind whirled with thought. Without hesitation he reached a hand forward, clasping it around the Sethia's so he could get a closer took at the bracelet he had almost forgotten, now though as he looked down at the charms, he could remember ever one and the meaning behind it. "I can't believe you still wear it."

[sethia]

She smiled as he spoke about his family, and she couldn’t help but think of the Christmas she had spent with the Moores and how insane it had been with all the children, but how loving the atmosphere was. She’d thought Payton’s sisters might have been hard on her about him, but they weren’t, they’d been wonderful towards her. She couldn’t remember meeting such a happy bunch of people in her life, and Mr. Moore, though she hadn’t been comfortable enough to call him Pops like he wanted, but she liked him a lot. Her time there had been wonderful, but a reminder of the life she had never had the opportunity to have. Life with a mother and father was something Sethia still wish she had, she probably always would, but aunt Hetty was great and she loved her very much.

She chuckled as Payton spoke about Dillion, he was a character, and she’d always liked him. “Well that’s true,” she added after him with a smile. “Jordan?” she asked curiously. She wasn’t sure what he meant by Dillion and Jordan, but she wasn’t going to ask either. Things change. “I’m sure it’s fun to watch.” She smiled. “Rowen? I don’t remember anything about him,” she admitted. Another child in the Moore home, where did they find the space? The Moores, such wonderful people with such big hearts and who always seemed to have enough room for one more.

The group passed and her eyes lingered behind them for moment. This felt so wrong, so alien to her, to be so nervous around a person she had been so incredibly comfortable with, that she’d even cared for…more than cared for. The chimes tapped against her wrist and she didn’t even think about it. The bracelet had been on her wrist since the day she got it; she’d never taken it off. It was a part of her, like her hair or her skin.

“What?” she asked, looking back at him confused. What was he talking about? What couldn’t be? He looked at her oddly and Sethia couldn’t understand it, then she realised her was looking at the bracelet on her hand. She looked at him in silence as he reached out and grabbed her hand. She bit her lip nervously and her heart sank at his reaction. “Why wouldn’t I wear it?” she asked sadly and pulled her hand away. She tried to laugh it off, “It is mine,” she added with a forced laugh.

[payton]

Thrown a bit off by her reaction to his comment on the bracelet, Payton found himself straightening a bit in his seat and hesitating before he answered. "Yes...its yours...I didn't mean for you not to wear it, I'm just....surprised you still do." After he spoke he let out a long breath, lifting a hand to run it through is fire orange hair and pull it back away from his forehead. It was true that he had nearly forgotten about the bracelet. Mainly because he figured that with their relationship basically ending it would have found its way to a jewelry box. He didn't think that even a year later it would still be dangled around her wrist just like it was the last time he saw her. "I meant for you to wear it Seth, and I'm glad you do." He finally said after a long pause. He watched her for a moment after he said it, then, that same easy going smile crossed his face and his eyebrows raised just a bit. "Wasn't too bothersome farming was it? could maybe use to to get an animals attetnion... I guess. Crows right? There suppose to be attracted to shiny objects." His smiled changed to a grin after he spoke and he leaned back again in his seat. He didn't want things to be tense between them. He didn't do tense and uncomfortable. Everything for him was relaxed and easy going.

[sethia]

This was not what she’d thought their next meeting would be like. It seemed pretty obvious to her that things had changed between them, at least on Payton’s side. She’d thought…what had she thought was going to happen? What had she thought this was going to be like, seeing Payton and falling into each others arms as if nothing had been different? Silly girl. She’d spent the last year in virtual solitude, having her aunt and her neighbours as her only company, while Payton had been at Hogwarts, where he was a very popular boy, whom even before he met Sethia, had the girls swooning over him. Did she expect he would just have waited around to whenever she got back, holding on to feelings as she had? No, she’d been silly to think it would be, and the feeling was horrible.

Surprised? He was surprised she would still wear the gift he gave her, a gift that meant so much to her? She sighed. “Well I do,” she added to his comment of surprise. She gave him a small toothless smile as he said he was glad she still wore the bracelet. “It’s not a big deal,” she said again pretending she was completely fine. She laughed; whether it was real or not she wasn’t sure; as he mentioned the charms being good for getting the attention of the cows. “Yeah, they do seem to like it,” she said in a joking manner. “I just shake my hand and they come running,” she said laughing, perhaps too much.

She shut her mouth and fell silent. “You know what; I have to go for a minute. Excuse me?” she said and rose from her seat and squeezed passed their respective trunks and out the door. She needed air, and the only place she could think of was the bathroom. She found her way to the loo and locked it. She took a deep breath and leaned against the door, and eyes welling up with tears. “Get a hold of yourself Sethia. You aren’t fifteen anymore,” she tried to coach herself. She washed her face, a few strands of her hair getting wet in the process before she put on a grin and left for the compartment.

On the way, she stopped at the food cart and picked up two chocolate trains before returning. She pulled the door, a smile on her face. “I had to make a little stop. Here you go,” she said beaming and offering him one of the trains as she reclaimed her seat. “So tell me what you’ve been up to with school and all that?” she said her personality light and cheerful. She was a fantastic actress, she always had been and it seemed she was going to have to be again.

[payton]

Normally he could talk his way into or out of everything--it didn't matter if he knew them or if they were total strangers, he started talking and people were just charmed by it. It wasn't something he tried to do or had to think about, it was just what happened. Now though, with Sethia, everything he said seemed to be wrong. He didn't want to make her upset, or say the wrong thing...he didn't want to make things even more awkward or uncomfortable then they were, he wanted things to be closer to how they were before, but it seemed like the more he talked the more tension there was. Finally Sethia said that she had to go for a minute and he nodded and watched her go, still just thrown off by the situation and her reactions. He didn't know what to do when people didn't respond to him how he expected them to; it wasn't something he had to face on a regular basis.

When Sethia came back he flashed her the same easy going smiled he always did--it was a smile that came naturally to him, and he reached out, taking the train from her. As she went to sit back where she was sitting before, she seemed to be all friendly smiles, but he knew her too well to think she would disappear and change like that. Sethia didn't just let go of things, or not just in the time it took to go buy a chocolate train. After letting out another deep breath he shrugged slightly "Its Hogwarts, it is how it always is. Fall was just hard...after the accident and all, and it was hard...." he paused for a moment, trying to catch Sethia's gaze with his own "Being on my own again. No family other than Dillion...I couldn't remember my friends...and the one person I did remember wasn't there anymore."

[sethia]

She unwrapped her train and broke off a tiny piece of the smokestack and popped it into her mouth. The rich, sweet chocolate melted on her tongue, and she sighed, there was just something so comforting about eating chocolate, it just made things seem so much easier. Maybe it wasn’t just chocolate, maybe it was because it was magical chocolate and the train was the first sign that she was returning to where she belonged…to Hogwarts…to her life. Things weren’t going to be how she left them, but Hogwarts was where she belonged and she knew that. She loved Yorkshire, she loved being with her aunt but it wasn’t her world; it wasn’t where she felt safe. Hogwarts was home, it had become home from her first year, and it would always be home to her.

Payton had given her that smile of his; that relaxed, on top of the world, nothing can faze me smile. Could anything bother Payton? She doubted there were many things that could break his demeanour. She smiled at him as he spoke of Hogwarts and then looked back at her train to break off another chuck of chocolate goodness. Then, he brought up Fall and the accident, and her smile faded as she looked up at him, and then their eyes met. Her eyes stayed on him as he talked of being on his own, not remembering his friends and then his final words hit her more than anything.

At first she didn’t know how to respond, it wasn’t something she had intended to talk about on the train, she had pictured maybe a quiet sit-down in to common room late one night, but now was as good a time as any she guessed. She looked down at her chocolate and then back to Payton before she could speak. “Payton, I’m sorry that it was so hard for you starting over after the accident. You know I wanted to be there. You know that right?” her eyes pleaded to him, hoping he did understand why she left. “I had no choice. If I didn’t go back, there would have been nothing to go back to.”

She fiddled nervously with the chocolate wrapper before getting up and sitting beside Payton. She sat there in silence for a few moments, time that felt like an eternity, before she spoke again. “I didn’t want to leave you Payton. I didn’t, and if there had been any other way I would have taken it, but there wasn’t.” she looked up at him slowly, “At least you had Dillion, I know he would have made sure you were okay. You seem to be doing great,” she added with a big smile, another ploy of the actress inside her. “Everything worked out great for you.”

[payton]

He sighed after the words escaped him, hoping she understood what he had meant. The fall had been hard, life its self seemed completely out of control for him and nothing fell back into place until school was almost over, and even then it took someone else picking up the pieces even if he hadn't realized it at the time. School itself hadn't exactly gone badly, he managed to get descent marks in all this classes, everyone was kind and understand, but no one ever made what had happened into a big deal, which he found comforting. For the most part he simply wanted to move on. His was was still holding hers when she answered him, her eyes pleading. He almost forgot how he use to be able to read those eyes. He waited for her to finish, and move so that she sat beside him before he spoke again.

"I don't blame you Sethia...I know why you left, and if it had been my family that needed me, I would have been right back in London instead of Hogwarts. Even if you had tried to stay at Hogwarts, you would have felt guilty for leaving your Aunt. She needed you more than I did." He looked back at her, his gaze having been broken for a moment, and he smiled at her, another one of those easy going smiles he could almost annoyingly manage at any occasion. "And I wouldn't exactly say things worked out really...I'm still trying to get everything back to great, but I think I get just a bit closer every day."

[sethia]

She waited for him to speak, that forced smile still lingering on her lips as she tried to act like everything was fine. She was happy that Payton was doing well, she wanted him to be happy and have all his dreams come true, it had been what she wanted for him even before she ever realised he liked her back. “Thanks,” she said softly as Payton explained that he didn’t blame her for leaving. She had to admit she was relieved, she hadn’t wanted him to hold it against her. if she could have explained what she had felt when she left and tell him that he’d been the only person she could think about while she was gone, then she would have, but she couldn’t get herself to say something like that to him. She was in limbo, trapped between what was and not knowing what is between them, if there ever was something. She might have been older, but she was still trying to protect her heart as best she could and the possibility that what was, was over, was too big a risk for her to take to say what she truly wanted to.

“I hoped you’d understand,” she said with a nervous smile. “She’s the only family I have in the world, and the farm is the only home I can remember. I couldn’t lose it.” He smiled again and it was as if they hadn’t been apart. He could manage that effortless smile, and she wished she knew how he did it. She fell silent again as he told her that he wouldn’t characterise everything as working out. “I didn’t mean everything was as it was, but you seem good, like you have everything on track or almost there. It’ll be great again soon knowing you. You aren’t the type to stay down forever,” she said smiling at him. “You deserve the good stuff anyway.”

She flashed him one more smile before looking away and picking at her chocolate again. “Don’t you just love these?” she said laughing slightly as she popped another chuck of chocolate into her mouth. “I really missed these.” I missed you too.

[payton]

His head tilted slightly when she said that she was glad he had understood. Yes it was hard not having her there, and for the longest time all he wanted was to have her back, but he didn't resent her decision, or hold it against her. She did what she had too, the same as he did. "Its one think we always did have in common--family loyalty." Sethia gave up everything about her life to go back and help her family, and when he said earlier that he would have done the same if his family needed him, he had meant it. He would give up anything for them, and he could never be angry as Sethia for giving something up for hers.

When she commented on his response to how his life had worked out his smile grew wider and his eyebrows raised with thoughts unsaid. "You know me, takes more than an entire wizard city's collapse to keep me down." Still grinning he shrugged off his comment, and nodded for a moment as he thought of the past year--not of the struggle it had been to now have her there with him, especially int he beginning, but of the later part of the year, when things felt like that were starting to pull together again. "I'm not quite sure what I desirve..." he started, thinking that she was still the same old Sethia as she said it. "but I'm working for it anyway. Its like I'm finally getting there again...back on track with what I wanted before. It was hard...over the school year, trying to sort it out, and feel like I could do it...and wanted to do it again. I've decided friends make a bigger difference in all that than I ever realized before."

Letting out a long sign, his gaze softened as he watched Sethia for a moment. Despite her act to seem calm and collected, he could nearly feel an inner tension from where he sat, but could he blame her? It had been so long since they last saw each other, and even then it had been just after the attack. After a moment he flashed her another easy going smile. "Since when did we need chocolate as a buffer when we talked to each other." He paused for a moment, letting his elbow swing out and nudge her. "Its just me, the same old Pay you met in the common room...so talk to me."

[sethia]

“Yes, we always did have that,” she said smiling as the chocolate melted in her mouth. Loving their family was something they shared, but yet it wasn’t the same. Payton’s family was large and close and it made it different to her two person family. Sethia had Hetty, she was the person who loved her enough to take her in after her family died, who loved her enough to accept her as a witch. The love and loyalty she had to her was beyond simple family loyalty, but as the link to the family she lost and could now barely remember. She didn’t doubt that Payton would do what he had to for his family, she knew him enough to know that.

“Yeah I know. You’re probably the only person I know who could smile through anything,” she replied to his comment. She looked at him, her face still, “I do,” she commented as he said he didn’t know what he deserved. “Well, I’m very glad your getting your like back to where you wanted it to be. I know that the accident wouldn’t keep you down, that you’d get over everything,” she said with a half smile. She moved away from the topic of getting over things, her mind was beginning to travel towards thoughts she’d rather not think of. “I envy you having everyone here to help you along. It was just me and aunt Hetty and our neighbours up the way for a long time, but I eventually made a few friends once I got to go into town more often. Mostly I liked to stay home.”

She popped in another chuck of chocolate; she had never eaten so much of the cocoa train as she had since she came back into the compartment. She looked at Payton surprised as he said spoke of her using chocolate as a buffer. “I…I…I wasn’t using it as a buffer,” she said with a nervous smile, as he nudged her. Was he really the same Payton? He could just remember her when she left, what had her time away done to those few memories he had? She looked at him in silence. “I am talking to you Payton,” she said smiling. “What are you talking about?” she ate another piece of chocolate, knowing that he knew she wasn’t being honest in her actions, and then quickly put the chocolate aside knowing that it was only more proof of what Payton was saying.

“People change Payton...even you." She smiled at him, a sweet tiny smile. "I didn't expect you to stay the same."

[payton]

He was silent for a moment after her comment. She was right, people changed, life changed them and they changed themselves. It was inevitable, and over the past year they had both changed. He knew it when she first walked in and despite being thrilled to see her, it wasn't like it would have been a year ago. For a moment he second guessed himself, but then he turned to Sethia. There were somethings that had changes, but there were some things that never would.
"Maybe I have changed...but thats only part of me, not all of me. Time can alter, but it can never change me completely." He paused again, taking another moment before he reached over and put his hand over Sethia's which was now free of chocolate. "I still smile at about everything, I still reach charms books for fun, I still like that hideous shade of orange...and I still know when your not telling me something." He found himself pausing again, letting out a long breath as his mind sorted through the rubble of emotions left behind long ago. "Seth...things are different, there are new people in my life and they've helped me to grow, but its not like I stopped missing you or caring about it. A year ago you meant the world to me, and that doesn't just go away because you were gone for a while. You will always be important to me."

[sethia]

She wouldn’t pretend to have thought that Payton would have stayed the same and felt the same about her. It was too ridiculous to think of. A year was a long time and it would have been unfair to think that Payton would have just sat and waited for her to come back and pick up where they’d left off. She only hoped that…well…it hadn’t forgotten her completely. She could never forget him, that was an impossibility, and neither would she stop feeling the way she did for him.

She listened to Payton, her face still and she didn’t say a word till he was finished. Her heart leapt in her chest as Payton placed his hand on hers. It was the first time he’d touched her in a year but he still had the same reaction on her as he always had. She laughed as he spoke of reading charms books for fun and thinking so highly of that silly shade of orange, but she was silent again as he said he knew her enough to tell when she wasn’t being completely forthcoming with him. Her eyes left his face, as she knew he was hitting the nail on the head. Why was he so attuned to her? Why did he have to know that she was trying to hide something? When they first met he would never have known, but now…now he knew her too well.

She smiled at Payton even as her heart fell into confusion at his words. “I know Payton. You were always someone people were drawn to, an easy friend that everyone was attracted to like moths to a flame.” She paused for a moment taking a deep breath, “I missed you too Payton. You were the only person who understood me so well. There was Nasser, but he wasn’t you,” she admitted. “You will always be important to me too Payton,” she said smiling. Important to him…things had changed. She had meant the world to him…she was always going to be important to him. Meaning the world to him in the past and just being important to him now were two very different feelings…weren’t they? She wasn’t sure. Her mind wanted to scream but she couldn’t. She had to accept, Payton didn’t feel as he had for her when she left…and she still felt the same.

She smiled at Payton and held his hand gently. “You’re a wonderful person Payton,” she said and kissed his cheek briefly before sitting back.

[payton]

He couldn't help but smile at her comment on him being moths to a flame. He always saw it the other way around, that he was the one draw to others. He liked people, he always had, and he liked to surround himself by them. Looking back it was how he had met some of the people that meant the most to him, he saw them sitting alone and he had been drawn to them. It was how he met Sethia, alone in the common room one night. He was was the one being drawn in with out even realizing it. As the memory of that first night came back to him, his gave Sethia's hand a gentle squeeze, hardly realizing he had done it. He smiled again when she called him wondering, and his eyebrows rose with out thought after she placed a kiss on his cheek, the action catching him off guard. He smiled back at her, then lifted her hand to place a kiss on the back of it. "Your pretty wonderful yourself."

After letting out a deep sigh he let his head lean back against the cushion, his eyes closing for a moment as he tried to take in the moment. "You know, I saw we make a deal right here and now." As he spoke his eyes opened, and he tipped his head so that he looked at her, his eyes brows raised as he plotted out his idea. "Were not allowed to go a year with out seeing each other again. Or the summer even. You should visit me in London." It was strange that the words came out before he even thought them through. He had meant the first part, that he had planned. He didn't want to wait a year before he saw her again, but he the summer hit in them. It was as if he finally got to see her again, and he wasn't sure he wanted to go the summer with out seeing her at least once, even if it was only a few months.

[sethia]

Her actions had come so naturally, to kiss him on the cheek, but none of it had been planned. She was just so relieved to be able to speak to him again, to see him and to be able to sit beside him. No matter what the status of their relationship was Sethia would always want Payton to be happy, to have the best, even if she couldn’t be a part of it.

She sat looking at him, a subdued smile on her face as Payton squeezed her hand and then placed a kiss on the back of it. However, no matter how calm she was trying to be the kiss from him forced her smile to be anything but subdued and she grinned at him as he cheeks were cast in a red hue. “Thank you Payton.” She felt dizzy, and as if her skin was about to cause her to lift into the air as though she weighed nothing. It was that happy feeling, that feeling that had been a stranger to her for the past year; that feeling that only being around Payton brought. How could one describe how she was feeling at that moment, besides confused and yet exhilarated all at the same time?

She watched him as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the cushion. He was still the handsomest guy she’d ever seen, even with his attraction to the most awful shade of orange she had ever seen. She laughed to herself silently, as she pictured him wearing a sweater of that particular colour, and then her mind drifted off to Christmas and having a snowball fight with him and ending up laying on a cushion of soft snow laughing. It was memories like that one that had kept her going for the past year when she felt lost and alone without him. He was like the secret ingredient in a recipe, the thing that sends the delicacy over the top and makes everyone instantly addicted to it. She was addicted to him and she knew it.

She ran a hand through her hair, a nervous habit as usual. “A deal?” she asked curiously as Payton’s eyes opened and fell on her again. Raised eyebrows, she knew what that meant. Payton had something up his sleeve. Her face visibly changed as he asked her to promise that they wouldn’t allow a year to go by again without seeing each other, or even the summer. “I promise,” she replied just before she heard the rest of what he had to say. Visit him in London?! “Umm…sure,” she said smiling after a brief hesitation. Of course she wanted to see Payton during the summer, she’d wanted to see him everyday for the past year, she wasn’t about to pass up his invitation. There was only one problem…where was she going to stay? Payton was living on his own now, there were no extra beds like at the Moores, and she didn’t know she really wanted to stay with them if Payton wasn’t there, and she didn’t know anyone else in London. She deliberated over it a moment before coming up with a plan. “I can stay at The Leaky Cauldron,” she said with a smile. She could only afford a few nights there, but it was enough time for her to spend with Payton.